Thursday, May 29, 2008

Oh my gosh...so sorry I'm like totally lame-o

Thanks to those of you who, when reading my title, read it with the appropriate Valley-girl accent. For those of you who didn't, please try again.

Ok...so sorry I haven't posted. I am now

healed

from the harsh wind/sunburn I exposed my poor/sensitive face to, except now my face is now

retaliating

with a minor breakout as aftermath of over a week of having an inch of Vaseline and aloe on it.


I quit my job. My last day was actually May 02, but I haven't mentioned it on the blog yet, so it may be news. I am more than thrilled to not be involved in the dishonest scam that is Indigo Media. It is refreshing to no longer be a

slave

for

incompetent, chauvinist, liars, con-artists, manipulators, nepotists, cheats, power-hungry mongroles, cut-throats, demons, and thieves.



(For a split second I thought, "You should end that phrase with

'bless their hearts'

so you don't sound so cruel...some of these folk haven't seen this side of you. You can say anything you want and end it in 'bless their hearts' and suddenly it sounds sweet, like a cute little BandAid over the whole thing." But then I remembered, if I were to give those people any kind of BandAid, it would be a

used one

that I found at

the bottom of a public swimming pool.

)



Presently, I am working from home. I am doing some freelance design, I tutor French, and I am becoming a worship-worthy housewife. The house is clean, the bed is made, the laundry and dishes are done, and dinner is finished by the time my love walks in the door from work where I am there to greet him as the very

image of perfection,

in a stylish, frilly apron, skirt, heals. After we finish the delightful dish I created for dinner, I let Paul relax in his easy chair and watch basketball while I dote around him and rub his feet. I'm hoping that if I keep up all this good work, my sweet husband will

reward me

with those new yellow cleaning gloves I've been wanting, I would love to keep my hands more delicate, no man wants a woman whose hands look worked.

Sorry, things are boring. It's just life as usual around here, except for the fact that I usually don't put a bra on until 4:30 in the afternoon.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

No, I Don't Need the Address to the Women and Children's Shelter

Well, we went cruising on a ship, came home and went cruising on the bike. Now, I am thoroughly beat up.

We (Paul and I) went with Ray and Laura to LavaPalooza, a charity ride for March of Dimes and Autism, to Lava Hot Springs in Idaho. We had a great time riding up to Lava with like 400+ other bikes...and doing the people watching of a lifetime.





We got to Lava and showed the world just how white and trashy we can be.


I naturally sported my sunscreen because I have pasty-white fair skin, but the sun and wind challenged me over the 2-day battle, and they put up a better fight. I look like the combination of a battered wife, someone after a face-lift and lip injection, and a clown who put her face in a panini maker.

We'll start out with a before...this was on May 08, 2008, so you have something to compare the afters with.



Today: (And the pictures actually wash out all of the red sunburn, so try to add that on top of the rest)

Shut up...I'm trying to smile


I know that my lips probably don't look like much to you, but note that I have tiny snake lips. Do snakes have lips, you ask. Probably not. It's the same with me.

Oh...and I needed to explain that my face is swollen...some of you may have just brushed the roundness off in an effort to be polite.

It looks a lot worse than it feels, actually I feel fine, but I thought I would post some pictures for your sympathies. And by sympathies, I mean food. And by food, I mean See's chocolates. And by chocolates, I mean not the Fruits and Nuts.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Trip

Because I know how much everybody loves to look at other people's vacation pictures, here are mine from last week:

Paul's artistic shot in San Diego


The Midway Museum, San Diego




A helicopter for Ben


A fire station museum place


Our souvenirs, Catalina Island (shut up, those glasses rock and sometimes a soda is worth $1.61)


Our self-guided bike tour of Catalina


So cute huh. Just ask and I'll send this one to you. Framed. And autographed.


Why I married him