Lacking Productivity

For Mindy

2011-08-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

This is for you Mindy. I'm not thrilled with it...but you asked for it and this is what approx 15 minutes got us...so I need your suggestions to improve.This is for you Mindy. I'm not thrilled with it...but you asked for it and this is what approx 15 minutes got us...so I need your suggestions to improve.

Last Person on the Planet on Pinterest

2011-07-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm finally pinning. I guess I've finally accepted that I can't just go on looking at the funny crap other people say, the gorgeous crap other people make, and the yummy crap other people eat. I need a means to monitor and organize all this crap in my life.

If we're friends on Facebook, I'm probably already following you. If not, let me know, and I'll make the add.

I've just started, so there isn't much there, but I'm here.

Peace.

Happy Pioneer Day Printable

2011-07-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

I know, I never post, but I made a printable for my favorite Utah-exclusive holiday...because I am so freaking cute and clever like that.

Currently...

2011-02-28T12:48:00.003-07:00

eating. . .a deliciously sweet and juicy orange (that I got for 5-cents each!)

reading. . .Wuthering Heights

watching. . .COMMUNITY (if you haven't seen it, you have my pity, if you have, I have plenty of time to talk), Modern Family, 30 Rock (not it's best season)

listening to. . .Pandora: Justin Timberlake Radio

smelling. . .musty, trapped-indoors-for-way-too-many-months air

dreaming of. . .summer...*sigh*

anticipating. . .some important letters

loving. . .the new pebbled ice machine at work (seriously, pebbled ice is the frozen water of the gods...and I would be lying if I said I didn't select the gas station where I buy my diet soda refills at according to the type, shape, and consistency of the ice offered at the facility...and I would be lying if I said I didn't know the type of ice at nearly every gas station within 7-10 miles of my house or employer...and I would be lying if I said I was embarrassed at admitting that)

creating. . .meals that are more focused on what they are made of than how fast they can be prepared, cooked, and on the table, because I am starving and want to eat whatever is at an arm's length

appreciating. . .thick, rich hand lotions

learning. . .see "creating"

celebrating. . .the fact that it is almost March, which means it is almost spring, which means it is almost summer.

stolen from: The Country Girl blogging at The Country Girl Chronicles

It's 9:30, but a Promise is a Promise

2011-02-25T22:31:00.002-07:00

I spaced the 5:00 photo, but I promised myself I would post everyday for a week. This is us at home, before 10pm, and I can hardly keep my eyes open to stay awake (and yes, I am starting to look old).

Tonight was (my sister) Konnie's golden birthday...she's 25 on the 25th, so the fam celebrated with delicious Cold Stone ice cream cake.

Then Paul and I went to a D-League basketball game, which is much more fun than it sounds. There are only a handful of people there, most of whom came because their daughters ~~dressed like pocket-sized 21 year olds at a trashy night club~~ were dancing at half time, so your chances of getting free swag thrown at you are dramatically increased, and you can sit wherever you want...so we always slip in the section clearly labeled "RESERVED," because we don't care bout what no sign say.

5:00 Somewhere

2011-02-24T17:04:00.001-07:00

Finally taking my shoes off.
There are few things that bring me more pleasure.

Oh...and I have purple carpet.

5:00 Somewhere

2011-02-23T22:49:00.003-07:00

Surprised that I actually blogged again?
Impressed even?

Well, 5:00 was spent happily chatting with the best mom on the planet, my mom.

On Valentines, my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, a celebration very very few couples ever get to enjoy, and I won't hesitate to brag about it.

Over the weekend, Paul and I went for a road trip and part of our conversation drifted to family, where we both had wonderful things to say about my parents. I love that Paul loves my mom, and my mom would never admit it, but Paul is definitely her favorite son in law.

5:00 Somewhere (A Copycat Post)

2011-02-22T17:02:00.003-07:00

So my charming bro-in-law and my adorable sis-in-law like to do things together that make me think that they are even cooler that I did before.

This past week they have been doing a "5:00 Somewhere" post where they photograph whatever is happening at 5:00 in their life.

I haven't posted in ages (in case you hadn't noticed), and so this idea sounded like a manageable way to get back into the blog scene which I totally miss.

So this is me just about 15 minutes ago at 5pm. I'm on the phone, because Paul calls me to chat on his drive home, something that we've done since we started dating. I totally watch the clock if I get home before him, waiting for his call (because I am a total sucker for him like that).

The other detail that you wouldn't know, but I feel so inclined to not let you overlook, is that I am wearing clothes that do not belong to me (though I wish they did...adorable sweater...and they smell nice, like expensive detergent and fine perfume), because my clothes were needed for a funeral, which led to an irreverent amount of pre-funeral laughter and an unplanned clothes swap during 4th period today. (I know, leaving out the juicy details of the story is just killing you).

Another fun fact you may like to note about this photo is the white shelves on the wall behind me...I built them. And Painted them. And the painted 30-ish frames on the shelf. I guess Paul shouldn't be entirely excluded from credit, but I definitely didn't need him.

See you tomorrow, at around 5:00.

I'm a Guest Blogger

2010-05-20T06:56:00.004-07:00

I got to guest post on the blog Or So She Says.

Which pretty much makes me blog royalty.

So allow me to tell you how cool this makes me feel (Annoying Yoplait commercial style):

Discover that your purchase is WAY cheaper than you anticipated cool

Enjoying regularity in your digestion cool

Looking hotter than the bride at her own wedding cool

Thinking that it is Wednesday, when it is in fact Friday cool

and might I say, even

Innocently glancing by this month's VANITY FAIR on the grocery store rack and seeing those I-don't-know-your-names-but-thank-you-for-posing-shirtless-in-on-the-cover-of-Vanity-Fair-Mr. Soccer Players cool

Not Even Mr. Schu Can't Compete with This

2010-05-10T21:22:00.011-07:00

My sister got me hooked on GLEE.

Yes, a weekly, teen-soap/musical.

I suggest avoiding it like I do visits to the OBGYN.

The plot is preposterous.

The characters are ridiculous.

The music is nauseating.

The drama is absurd.

and in the words of Nick Carraway, GLEE represents "everything for which I have an uneffected scorn."

but it is visual cocaine: numbing, eccentric, and self-destructive,
yet you keep coming back for more,
no matter how much it tears you and your loving husband apart.

And though I would like to say that absolutely nothing that happens in GLEE actually happens in a real high school (because any teacher who acted for 5 minutes the way that Mr. Schuster acts episode after episode would be fired and black listed immediately), sometimes life imitates art

because some teachers are just freaking cool,

so they spend the 25 minutes they have for lunch each day practicing the choreography to Michael Jackson's iconic "Thriller"
to perform in front of the scrutinizing eyes of 15-18 year olds,

while dressed up like zombies,

even though they have, I don't know, say a really really important accreditation meeting immediately following the performance so they will have to move in a panicked rush to try to reinstate normalcy before playing part in the judgment of the school's legitimacy,

and they have to teach class immediately before,
and they won't have time to get in costume after class, so they will have to try to engage students before 8am, while looking like the living dead,

and they have never ever taken a dance class before,

and their mama gave them way too much to shake in front of the public eye.

If you can't tell, I am the one wearing the blond plant on her head.

I have a video that a student took.
I've tried to upload it a couple times, but I think the file is too big. Lame.
You would have fallen in love with me.
But in that case, I guess we are better off, I don't want Paul to have to compete.

[Almost] Done [with Portion 1] and Hotter than Eva

2010-05-07T08:52:00.003-07:00

Paul graduated last week. Well, okay, he has 3 class left, and will be done in 8 weeks, so he "walked." And I'm glad he did, because he graduated first of his class.
Literally.
He was the very first person to receive his diploma.

(And no, this did not mean we got to leave early and not have to listen to the other hundreds of names read in the list of behavioral science grads; it just meant that we could stop listening faster than everybody else).

Actually, it was really fun to see him and to have his family come support him in all the work he has done to not only graduate, but to complete his schooling with honors.

My dear and wonderful sister-in-law, Katrine, was generous enough to come, and fortunately brought her camera along with her. I brought mine too, but it chose not to work (it is kinda begging me to pull a Million Dollar Baby on it, so it no longer has to live in misery and torment). Katrine then dedicated this precious tribute blog post to Paul and his accomplishments, so that we could have the memories I could not have captured in film without her. (Thanks, Katrine!)

We went to Applebee's after graduation, because Paul saw their commercial. And it apparently hypnotized him. He could not possibly think a more appropriate place to eat that the place than the place that serves the new Philly Cheeseburger, even after being razzed that Applebee's is simply not fancy enough for such a momentous occasion (but then again, we think that ordering items not off of a $1 value menu, but still with a bogo coupon, at a fast food joint, is going out on the town).

Paul felt no need to even open the Applebee's menu. He knew what he wanted. But then he did open the menu, only to look at the picture of the Philly Cheeseburger, reaffirming his ability to make solid decisions based off of commercialized images and marketing ... because he's a college grad.

Way to show them what your degree is made of baby!
I love you to pieces.

I'm on a Horse

2010-04-25T20:18:00.011-07:00

On Saturday, while getting refill sodas (an addiction that was recently downgraded to an irrational and compulsive habit) we got a call from some neighbors asking if we would join them in an afternoon of horseback riding.

After reflecting on our previous experience with riding horses (together we have a total of 27 minutes riding time, on paved roads, with somebody walking the horse, giving free 20-foot rides to children 5 and younger), we were confident we were up for the challenge and said yes.

We drove down to a quaint, little ranch about 20-30 minutes away, and became real cowboys (now, if we could only be friends with the farmers).

We brushed the pretty horses (meet Mohawk).

We learned how to saddle them and how to get on.

Paul got it first try.

It took me a little longer, however clearly, I managed it with far more grace and sex appeal.

We rode double, so this firm and fit bod was riding bareback, on a wet saddle blanket (yet I managed to come out free of rash or chaffing, though I was in wet jeans for almost 6 hours).

Our friend and guide, Joey, has a theory that if you start with the most difficult thing, then everything else seems easy.
So within our first couple minutes, he had us on the main road, crossing the freeway entrance, the freeway exit, and going up the steepest freaking hill I have ever seen in my life, actually, it wasn't even a hill, it was a small mountain, and not even a solid small mountain, but a small mountain made of loose rock.

That was hands down the scariest thing I have ever done in my entire existence (did I mention I was riding in back, behind a totally inexperienced rider, trying to maneuver a horse into switchbacks, bareback, because that is what was happening).

The hand of the Good Lord was with us yesterday, because I am still alive. And if ye lack faith and seek ye a sign, call me. I will testify. I am alive, therefore I am a witness.

We made it up probably 2/3 of the mountain, before Joey let us hop off and walk the remainder of the hill.

The pictures seriously do not remotely tell the story of how steep or treacherous this place was, but if it helps to visualize, the hill was so steep that my foot on the upside of the hill was nearly touching the ground while I was on the horse.

(This is after we got off, and once we had hiked past the rocky terrain, it was so steep, you can't even see the rocky area)

The cute horse at the top of the hill with Jana (the horse's owner and Joey's gf)

It was actually kind of refreshing to be petrified scared. I tend to play it safe, and I don't venture out on my own, but I do appreciate when somebody kinda makes me, every now and then.

The remainder of the ride was smooth sailing, but that may have been because Joey was babysitting us the rest of the way.

For a first ride, I think we did well. In fact, we are hardly sore at all.

We are not sure when Joey and Jana will allow us the pleasure of spending time with them and their beautiful creatures again, but we will be ready, and we will conquer.

Too Much/Too Little

2010-04-23T07:59:00.004-07:00

Though I probably do not always come across this way, I think I am naturally a pretty satisfied person.
I don't need a lot to be happy.
I don't need anything fancy.
I can make due.

I think this has been a huge benefit to me in my life. I don't really get caught up in having new stuff. I'm not really dazzled by electronics or cars or furnishings. I am pretty happy and incredibly grateful for the simple things that make up my life.

But think ye not that I am complacent. There are plenty of things I would thoroughly enjoy seeing change.

Which leads us to this weeks edition of TOO MUCH/TOO LITTLE:

TOO MUCH: Sweats and Boots
These identities have been concealed as to prevent further disgrace from the fact that these individuals are dressed like goons.

I do not care how cold it was or is; I do not care how elastic-y comfortable or how cozy chic the whole thing is, sweat pants (or pj pants)and Ugg boots, or any boots for that matter, regardless of the material (suede, sweater, synthetic, etc) do not belong together. I don't know how or why or at what point looking people began tolerating the countless offenses that are found in this single faux pas, but I'm taking a stand.

When I witness this combination, I feel like I am seeing one of those really freaky celebrity couples on the E-network, the ones that you know do not belong together, but one or the other has a lucrative job and enough money to defy the basic laws of humanity.

TOO LITTLE: Spring

I can never get enough of a gorgeous spring. I love the weather and the smells. My state has a the best spring in the whole, entire world ... for about a week (give or take four days), which is then immediately replaced by an unwelcome winter comeback (and not a "Womanizer" type comeback, but a pitiful and embarrassing "Gimme More" comeback), then it is immediately scorching hot. Last week was spring. This week is winter.

I presume we will meet again soon 100-degree+ weather...I know thee well.

TOO MUCH: Invisible Eyebrows

You wouldn't just tack a beautiful photo on a the wall. You would give it a frame. Your eyebrows are your face frame. If they are light, or lighter than your hair, please color them in. You don't realize this, but you look like Edward Scissorhands, and not in a lovable-man-with-razor-sharp-knives-for-hands-whose-charm-and-talent-will-brighten-up-your-isolated-suburbia kind of way, in a man-who-wasn't-completely-finished-being-made-because-he-accidently-killed-his-creator-before-his-creator-could-replace-his-razor-sharp-knife-hands-for-regular-hands-and-give-him-eyebrows kind of way.

TOO LITTLE: Produce

I really need to go grocery shopping. Last week I went to a local case lot sale (a sale on buying canned goods and other non-perishables), and I didn't really manage to leave the store with anything fresh, thus we are out of produce. We have a couple great grocers where I live that I can get produce for fantastic prices, so I may be heading out tonight (yes, on a Friday; yes, on the eve of the weekend I will be grocery shopping for vegetables and fruit, all alone, and using the weekly ads; and no, thank you, I am not ashamed. I have the luxury of not having dignity, thus I can have no shame).

For the Doubters...

2010-04-18T21:23:00.002-07:00

He did it...with HONORS!

Because I Can/Forgot

2010-04-18T20:40:00.002-07:00

I never posted our Kira-sistable Christmas card, so I am going to now.

PS: Paul's graduation announcement coming soon

Paul is Wonderful

2010-04-02T16:39:00.002-07:00

I'm typically one to gag at corny ode-to-my-lover posts that people write, so I won't get too mushy, but I will mention that Paul has picked up so much of my slack lately. March has been a very exhausting month, and Paul has been so sweet about picking up so many of the pieces I've left behind.

He has been doing more laundry than is at all justifiable.

He pays the bills.

He has been working on the car, and has taken it back and forth from the shop too many times.

He encourages me.

When I told him that I didn't want to watch march madness basketball, he turned it right off, because he kindly acquiesces to my rule that is is allowed only one team and one sport to be obsessed with, and he has already filled the slot.

He made dessert. From scratch. All by himself. And it was delicious. And oh, so fancy. (Please note my freaking rad orange countertop.)

and geez...look at how much work he takes just to wink, It apparently requires all of his focus and contracting every muscle in his face, neck, and shoulders...little sweetie.

Thank you my Rock of Love.

Next needs to be the ode-to-my-mamma, who has saved me on WAY more occasions than I am humble enough to admit.

Holi 2010: What Landlocked Folk Do for Spring Break

2010-03-29T08:11:00.014-07:00

I live within driving distance of a grand and gorgeous Hare Krishna temple. It is planted in the outskirts of a growing city and sticks out like a sore thumb, because things that look like India are hard to hide in Utah farmland.

Every year, the local Hare Krishna devotees host the Hindu celebration Holi: The Festival of Colors, and this one just so happens to be the biggest Holi celebration in the United States, and we couldn't be more proud.

Though I had what felt like a full Saturday ahead of me, I told my sister, Konnie, and her husband that I would join them in their escapade, and we didn't regret it for a second.

(Konnie in the mix of things...and whose handprint is that?!!)

Because of the increasing popularity, there are 2 festivals during the day, and you can park a couple miles away and be shuttled up to the temple, and by shuttled, I mean you can pack into a sweaty, muggy, school bus.

On the way up, I sat behind this bandit (minus the umbrella...and the beach...and the Art Garfunkel hair...actually, ignore everything but the bandana).

Whenever I see this, I always check the person's hands for these

I'm pretty positive that cloth bags, clearly marked with money signs is the overall best way for bankers and robbers to transport money, and has been since the early cartoon era.

I'm not going to lie. I mentally mocked this man, as well as the other goons wearing these

(Do you remember the bird flu, and everybody wearing bras over their faces because they ran out of 3M masks?)

I laughed at them, until I experienced it.

I honestly can't describe what it feels like to be surrounded by thousands of humans, then all of the sudden, not be able to see a single one of them because within an instant there is so much flour in the air that you feel swallowed up by colored powder, so much that all the colors combine and the sky looks black.

I am totally unaware of the carbon footprint that something like this creates.

I am totally unaware of the effect the color has on skin, lungs, and sinuses.

I am totally unaware of how all that powder got down there, and over there, and back there.

I am totally unaware of whether or not the color will ever come out of my clothing.

I am totally unaware of how listening to an an hour and a half of listening to a man sing, "Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! Hare! Hare!" has affected me.

I am totally unaware of who was touching me at what point.

and quite honestly, I prefer not to know.

The knowledge will put a damper things.

Enjoy pics below:

My sis-in-law, Laura, caught us right as we walked in

And then the smoke flew...

For really attractive pics of the fest...check out my junior high bff's blog: Camilla

Cellphone Beef

2010-03-02T21:07:00.007-07:00

I don't excel at a lot of things. I would say that I am typically pretty average at most things (unless that thing is athletic, then I am tragically embarrassing). But there are a couple things I think that I do quite well, most of which are highly useless and/or totally ridiculous.

One of these things that I am pretty good at is finding things that annoy me.

The following is one of those things that annoy me:

Inconsiderate cellphone talkers.

I'm not going to pull an Oprah and lecture on the importance of not texting while driving. You see, that is not something that would be classified as inconsiderate. That is, as we all should know, high-risk behavior.

Inconsiderate cellphone talkers are those who do not follow my cellphone rules. (And yes, I made the rules. Who else could I trust to do so?)

Naturally, anybody who ever has or will read this blog has never broken one of these rules, and it goes without saying that I have never broken anyone of these rules.

This is not a complete list, and naturally, I hold the right to amend this list at any given time.

• Present parties are typically the most important. This rule of thumb should be a guiding force in many of the decisions a person makes when speaking on, or deciding whether to answer, the phone.

• Present parties should be, at a minimum, informed that you are going to take a call (if you must take a call when you are with a live, right in front of you, human being who is speaking with you), if not asked, then given fair warning, if only for the mere formalities. (Note: Putting a finger up, indicating "one minute" to hush the person, mid-sentence, with whom you are having a face-to-face conversation, is not an acceptable form of acquiescing this rule).
• If you are shopping and having a very intense conversation on the phone, odds are you are probably not giving an adequate amount of attention to one or the other. Maybe then, instead of staring at the same single can of green beans, that you probably don't even know that you have in your hand, while you are taking up the entire canned vegetable section with you, your cart, the children that you have totally forgotten are there, and your elaborate hand gestures, you could find a quiet and isolated place to finish your conversation before you begin shopping again.
• If you are at the front of a line where a cashier or another attendant of some sort is trying to help you ring up groceries, purchase a ticket, etc., either request that the person you are speaking to on the phone be on-hold for a couple of minutes or ask that person to end the conversation until you have passed through the line, where you will immediately call them back.

and oh, yes,
• It is only necessary to wear a blue tooth or handsfree earpiece when you are actually having a conversation.

Thank you all for being so diligent in being pillar citizen cellphone talkers. I most sincerely appreciate it.

The Pressure of Valentine Messages

2010-02-12T13:15:00.010-07:00

Yes, I have re-posted this like 15 times. I apologize.

My post is below, but I felt like I should indulge you in the
before

and after of my sweet lovers weekend transformation

Well over a year's worth of work gone in mere moments; however a lifetime of priceless respect for the time and effort that is long hair was gained.

He says he thinks short hair makes his nose look big, but I'm pretty sure it is his nasal cartilage that makes his nose look big.

(Note that I actually totally think he has a sexy and distinguished nose, and that I think I have a thing for men with large facial centerpieces: Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Cyrano de Bergerac)

And now for my post:

I like Valentines, though I really don't participate in it anymore. Paul and I have a mutual lack-of-gift giving understanding between the two of us for most holidays, which I probably like more than him, because he can show off how clever and romantic he is with a gift, whereas I just feel frustrated at the whole fiasco.

It is my adorable parents anniversary on Valentines, and my mom always decorates for the holiday soon after she takes down Christmas decoration, so I associate the holiday as a happy, joyful time. I think the whole pink and red heart thing is cute, and I like anything that coincides with free candy, but the whole love day stuff tends to cause me mild anxiety. Even as a child I recall feeling a lot of pressure stemming from February 14.

In elementary, we were required to give every class member a Valentine. Like most kids, my mom would buy us boxes of printed Valentines marketing for whatever pop-culture icon was hip during the year, and we would spend an evening addressing the Valentines to individual class members and fill the Valentines with treats, probably participating in practices that would no longer be acceptable in a school, like filling the never-really-properly-sealing envelops with loose, bulk, unwrapped candy.

Many children could probably complete this task in minutes. However, such was not teh case for me. I noticed, even as a child, that these Valentines, though made specifically for a K-6 audience, portray pressuring messages.

"Be Mine"
"I [Heart] You"
"I Love You"
"Be My Valentine"
"You're Cute"
"Hot Stuff"
"I Like You" (which, of course, does not mean like, but means like-like, which is totally different)
etc.

I hated these.

I felt like 70% of the Valentines had emotionally committing messages on them.

Even addressing the addressee as "Valentine" rests upon the assumption that the addressee is, in fact, your Valentine, and thus creates the premise that you have some type of relationship beyond that of merely platonic schoolmates.

This was too much for me.

The process of sorting Valentines was a meticulous one.

I would catagorize the class into male and female groups. Then those groups would be ranked according to my friendship with each individual.

I would then separate the Valentines into platonic and intimate categories.

I would then read, re-read, analyze, critique, and deconstruct each message into every possible interpretation as to not leave any class member under a false assumption of my like, like-like, or dislike of that person.

At this point, I suspect few kids actually read the messages on the cards. They probably just separated the candy from the cards, and threw the non-edible pile away, not knowing nor ever appreciating what I had mentally and emotionally endured just to get that message to their Valentine box.

Underneath all of this, I suspect there is a larger metaphor for my entire life. You are welcome to psychoanalyze it.

New (Well, 2 Months Ago) Do

2010-02-04T22:18:00.002-07:00

Please don't judge the 2 months worth of re-growth, though I need not say it, you probably wouldn't even notice it, being so dumbfounded by my dashing good looks and charismatic aura before a plane of crisp, icy snow.

It looked way better in December, however I am holding out for 2 more weeks until I can do it again (see tragic results of being chronically cheap here).

Nine for 2009

2010-02-02T20:21:00.005-07:00

Here are nine things we did in 2009 (since I didn't let you know when it was happening).
And shut-up, I know it's February...get over yourself.

• We bought a freaking house. It is cute and humble with purple carpet and orange countertops. Which means, above all, we finally live upstairs (though we miss Ray and Laura and their baby, Ozzy).

• I finished year one of teaching, and after applying for the job I worked for 1 year, was offered my own job back, and happily and gratefully accepted.

• We invited a baby into our home, except that baby did not belong to us, it belongs to the sweet, in-laws downstairs.

• We took a fantastic trip to Yellowstone (where this bratty little kid was playing in the sacred, mystical ground like it was a sandbox, and man did that kid [and his mother] almost get some of my lip...oooo...it still makes me irate).

(My hair is now well over 12" shorter and Paul's is much longer than this pic...are we hippies or what.)

• I got to see several of my cousins for the first time in years, years, years. One of whom is an edgy photographer in Sweden (how many people get to say that?)

• Paul got a new job, and he couldn't be happier with it (though it meant him working like 60 hours/week between 2 jobs, in addition to a hefty, full load of classes). (Though he started off the new decade with quitting the original job [as an indentured servant], which means, for the first time since I've met him, Paul is not working on-call!)

• Paul got a 4.0 last semester (which is even more impressive if you see the above bullet...and yes, I am totally bragging about him).

• We hit the three year mark of the happiest marriage on the planet.

• We bought a big, fat tv that blows our minds (neither of us ever thought we would have a tv bigger than 32'), and we still stop and mention our astonishment at it.

Today's Look: Senator's Wife

2010-02-02T08:52:00.004-07:00

In December, I cut my hair all short-like. Some have described it as sassy, which I don't really agree with, because who doesn't have a haircut that somebody hasn't described as sassy (cut your hair short: "Ooo, sassy!" dye your hair red: "Love it...so sassy!" don't wash or brush your hair for two months: "Watch out...look at that sass!"). It's an overused term, cliché, if you will.

I really don't have a lot of pictures of it. I took a couple tragic ones from that day (platinum looks terrible the first couple days, and my hair was still figuring out how to go where) and this one was taken at my dear parents house on my birthday, New Year's Eve, and as you can see it is a perfectly sober me attempting to put every hammered, spring-break skank to shame, even with all my clothes on.

At this point, my hair is in desperate need of a trim, but I'm waiting it out until it has been a full 2 months since the original cut. In order to execute my plan of accommodating my dislike for disposing wads of money in attempt to make me look more gorgeous than I already am, I have to fix my hair different from how I like it.

Many of these styles do not appeal to me.

I fixed my hair and ran out the door this morning without time to avoid looking like I should be wearing a dress suit and pearls, standing behind my cheating fill-in-the-blank-political-office-or-possibly-professional-athlete husband.

Ironically, the people seem to like the ridiculous, blonde puff-do.

I'm hoping that I gain their sympathies.

Another One: 8 Things

2010-02-01T17:34:00.004-07:00

This is another itty bitty step to blogging more (I know these get old fast, but think of this as a braid storm, a whirl wind of ideas until things take flight once more).

This was snatched from the Almost Famous blog.

8 TV shows I watch
1. 30 Rock
2. Modern Family
3. The Office
4. The Colbert Report
5. America's Next Top Model (I never keep up with the new ones, just the marathons on ANTM Obsessed)
6. SNL
7. Jazz games
8. Medium

8 favorite places to eat and drink

in what price range?

$
1. Del Taco
2. El Azteca
3. Subway

$$
4. Chilies
5. Bajio
6. Cafe Rio

$$$
7. Tucanos or Rodigio Grill
8. Ruby River or Outback Steakhouse

8 things I look forward to:
1. Time with Paul (which means Saturday and Monday night)
2. Time with family
3. time off
4. Sunday dinner
5. summer
6. get-aways/vacations
7. new clothes
8. good mail (the from-a-real-person-that-I-know kind)

8 things I love about winter:
1. Gorgeous coats
2. fireplaces
3. scarves
4. hats
5. boots
6. seeing the snow from indoors
7. Christmas lights
8. Having more excuses for being unhealthy

8 places I always go:
1. Momma's house
2. Sunflower Market
3. Walmart
4. Ross Dress for Less
5. work
6. Buy Low
7. Old Navy clearance section
8. Gas station for a refill soda

8 things on my wish list:
1. window treatments (you bet I sound like I just walked out of design school)
2. fence
3. new shoes (specifically heels)
4. new light fixtures
5. Paul's can get into a the grad program he wants
6. Paul to get good grades again (he got a 4.0 last semester, while working 60hrs a week, mind you)
7. To not lose my job (unlikely, but possible)
8. the good health of those I love

8 things I am passionate about
1. Family
2. Good humor
3. Integrity
4. Confidence
5. Knowledge
6. Faith
7. Service
8. Community

While Watching the Game

2010-01-29T20:38:00.004-07:00

I decided to do this thing.

As I have said for the last fifty blogs, I want to blog more.
To get the juices going, I am going to post a couple of those totally canned, meme things I have seen recently.

This one I saw on Jason's blog

Do you get regular massages? No. Nor do I regularly get my nails done, nor my hair done, nor my other body parts relaxed, tightened, plumped, sucked, nipped, tucked, micro-ed, lasered, nor augmented

Do you have an answering machine? voicemail

What cuss word do you use the most? I don't indulge in such atrocious language habits; I only say words that start with the same letter as a cuss words, and put it where others would put a cuss word in a sentence. Much, much classier.

Are you underweight or overweight? I believe they call it marbling in a fine cut of meat.

Can you see your veins? Yes ... eck. My legs look like a 78 year old.

Favorite…

Soap? anything with a good moisturizer and a fantastic smell

Fruit? Anything really, but I could live and die on blueberries

Kind of red meat? juicy, succulent prime rib

Fish? Yes, please.

Candy bar? Is See's Cashew Brittle a candy bar? No, then anything by the checkout stand when I am hungry

Have You Ever…

Eaten a whole bag of potato chips? No.

Eaten lobster? Mmhmm...and I'd rather have shrimp.

Climbed a mountain? Been mountain climbing...no. Walked a trail of gradual, yet reasonably inclined switchbacks...yes.

Been skydiving? Most ridiculous thing ever contemplated by mankind

Been water skiing? I prefer sitting on the boat to being dragged by it.

Do You…

Wish you could change something about your life? Eh, nah.

Like your nose? Sure. I used to want a round pug-ish nose like my mom, but now I'm happy with what I've got.

Like salt and vinegar chips? Of course.

Eat salsa? Always

Own a boat? Just asking the question insults my ability to manage money

What Is…

A small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequences? If I were Oprah, I would say texting while driving, but since she does not have the pleasure of being me, I will say flossing daily.

Your most macho trait? My appetite

The longest relationship you’ve ever had? Do you mean relationship or relationship-relationship?

Your most embarrassing thoughts? I think the most embarrassing thing is that I am not at all embarrassed by most of them.

Your most shameful moment? Sometimes I don't put the laundry away, because I know Paul will do it if I leave it for long enough.

This/That…

Bath/Shower? Shower. One should only bathe if he/she showers first, or else it is just soaking in what was intended to be cleaned off.

Markers/Crayons? Markers...but you can get the 96 pack of markers...lame

Pens/Pencils? Pens

Jelly/Cream Cheese? They aren't mutually exclusive. I don't know that I've ever been in a situation where it was "either/or" jelly vs cream cheese. They both do their jobs well.

Bagel/Toast? Again, very different breads. So many variables would have to be presented in order to make the call here.

Finish…

My greatest weakness is…I am ridiculously, regretfully forgetful.

I wish I was…less shy.

Three things I wouldn’t do for a million dollars are…commit murder or adultery, or make my mom mad ;]

The oddest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth is… questions like that always make me gag.

Firsts…

Credit card you had? the same as the only one I've ever had

Loan you got was for? a very quaint, reasonable house

Paycheck was for how much? Geez? Is that a thing that people actually remember?

Time you had stitches? I was sitting like a polite little girl on a church pew with several other Sunday school kids my age, one of whom thought that he would crawl behind our backs (seriously, is that fun?). You see, at the time, most of the kids were not tall enough to sit all the way back in the seat and still be able to swing their legs, I however was. So when this young man approached me, rather than politely ask for me to lean forward to accommodate his reckless behavior, he just pushed me off the pew. My chin hit the songbook holder on the back the pew in front of me. Fortunately, I managed to avoid bleeding all over my gorgeous, fancy, lacy, white, Jessica McClintock Gunne Sax dress (staining a jewel like that, can you even imagine?).

Time you went to the hospital for something? To be born

Lasts…

List everything you ate in the last 24 hours? Dinner: Incredible pupusas with cabbage salsa made by my delightful momma, five Mike and Ike Hot Tamales, and like ten M&Ms; Lunch: a cup of popcorn, three orange slice candies, a real orange, a diet caffeine-free pepsi, a half pita sandwich with three slices of ham, mustard and a pickle, and six Keebler Townhouse Crackers; Breakfast: a red Solo cup of Trix and milk.

Last thing you used a credit card for? I don't really use it. I can't even remember.

Last thing you celebrated? My grandpa's 76th birthday

Last time you were at a sports bar? A few weeks ago we went to dinner and watched our team play a really good game.

Public Restroom Talk #97

2009-11-08T21:01:00.002-07:00

I realize that this is not the first time I have brought up the many topics of all things public restroom (or other inconvenient and unsanitary places to relieve oneself), and this, my friends, will not be the last. (Should I be embarrassed by this?)

Today's topic is short, but one I have felt a lot of pressure by on several occasions.

What do you say when somebody knocks on the stall door that you are in?

Do you quickly make yourself known?
"I'm in here."
"This one's taken."

Give a time frame?
"Just a minute."
"This is going to take a while."

Apologize?
"Sorry."

Should you indicate where you are in the process, so they can gauge the clock?
"Midstream..can't stop."

Or use non-verbal cues like cough, rattle the toilet paper dispenser, etc?

Every time this happens, I freeze up and just blurt something out, typically two half phrases, melded together in choked-up nonsense that confuses the approacher enough to back away.

I want to have something rehearsed and ready, so I can know what to say when I'm put in the situation. I want to be politically correct, and am open to suggestions.

Back to My Roots

2009-11-02T16:44:00.003-07:00

When you blog all the time, you the world as all things blogable.
When you don't blog, it seems as if there is nothing to talk about, so you continue to not blog. It's a vicious cycle.

This is my attempt to get out of the trap.

I am going to start small, with Halloween pics. Lame. I know. But This is how people start blogging, right? Just pictures of themselves, then they move into documenting every breath that their children take, then they graduate to riveting commentary on life and humanity...and since I don't have kids, ideally, I'll skip right to the riveting commentary part after I lure you in with my good looks and charisma.

Previous Post Removal

2009-10-25T08:48:00.003-07:00

Paul had a night to sleep on his decision to allow me publish the previous (now non-existent) post. He came to realize exactly how vast the interweb is and asked me to remove said post. I am accommodating his wishes.

So if the previous post is still on your reader, and you got the now rare chance at seeing a glimpse of my life at home, simply and quietly note exactly how lucky you are.

Thank you.

Public Restroom Ed: Always Look Both Ways

2009-07-28T14:43:00.008-07:00

I just returned from ghetto shopping with my mom, sister, and grandpa. I like to ghetto shop when I have the chance. I like the trashy, bargain bin places, and I appreciate the insanity of a clearance sale.

These, however, are not places you often want to pee at.

But sometimes you don't have a digestive track regular enough to deny any chance at disposing waste from your body ... just saying.

The store we happened to be at today, fortunately, has decent lavatory, you wouldn't want to, I don't know, say, pass out on the floor (story coming soon) or something, but you can do the deed and get on with your life.

Upon entering the facilities, I see that the handicap stall is available. I love the handicap stall. It tends to be the furthest back (which appeases my rules ) and has enough space to feel more private and secluded, which is always a nice touch. Upon my excitement of being booked in the public restroom suite, I failed to check the TP status.

I grab the toilet seat cover/condom/gasket/thing, drop my drawers, and the first few instants are off to a great start. I literally thought to myself that this was going to be a record time experience (I typically get stage fright in such situations). Then I reach for the toilet paper.

Roll #2 of the dual action dispenser is out.

I strike a hopeful glance to Roll #1. Ahhhh! (the sigh, not Aaaah! the scream) There was still a single, whimsical serving left in Roll #1 before some over-zealous TP fiend who switched the slider to Roll #2.

I then proceed to reach my hand under the dispenser to simply swap the slider from Roll #2 back to Roll #1, but apparently racy adjustments like that are overstepping the boundaries. The slider was jammed or locked or just plain cruel because I couldn't move it at all.

Unaware that my feat would be in vain, I contort my body to cock my head to the underside of the dispenser to look for a switch or lever or button to release the contraption's death grip.

After adjusting enough to have the public john auto-flush device engage on my desperate cheeks not once, but twice, and having a whole slew of graphic images of what creatures could be touching my lady parts with every drop of water that flew up to splash the sunless, nether regions of my delightfully chubby body, I rose the white flag and began to try to snake my hand up the mechanism to take the paper for myself.

My urgent attempt resulted in several scratches, but I was still able to reach the toilet paper with my middle and pointer fingers. Enduring one more miserable auto-flush and unable to achieve more than shredding the small remains of the roll into streamers of tissue confetti, I scrounged the remnants until I had enough to fulfill my needs, and did not have to turn to Plan C which involved using the toilet seat cover/condom/gasket/things (which I might add, are rough on such tender areas and are completely non-absorbent) as a final replacement.

I got my act together, and felt somewhat victorious, as I glanced back, wishing I could warn the next handicap stall victim, to see a full, new, 24" industrial roll of toilet paper on a hook, on the opposite side of the toilet.

Thoughts on Dining Out

2009-07-23T15:29:00.006-07:00

us at Yellowstone while we were still showered and gorgeous

I'm too lazy to ~~care~~ count how many times I have posted in the last year or so, but it has been far less than a handful.

I blame myself.

I have no excuse for my absence. I just got out of the habit, and in turn, have disappointed the countless people who accidentally tumble onto my blog while searching riveting topics such as "adolescent jokes."

But something that has been on my mind, that I have not seen addressed by the likes of the blogs I frequent, is a distressing matter concerning going out to eat. I like going out to eat, yet I don't seem to maintain the same value system that some of my restaurant companions do.

I frequently, not always, but almost always, finish all of my food when I go out. I have a healthy appetite and room to contain it, so I prefer to finish as much of my meal as close to when it was prepared as possible. Apparently, this is not normal.

There is some code among women that you should not finish your meal (or at least not in front of each other). Perhaps they really do all just have adorable, little, dainty, sweet appetites, and it has nothing to do with just wanting to look like that, so when I finish scraping every last penny of succulent bliss off of my plate, and look up to see them still poking their way around a half piece of chicken still laying on a full bed of rice pilaf with their first glass of ridiculously over-priced Diet Pepsi still three-quarters full, I feel like some sub-human, vacuum form of a cow.

Then after picking at a few bites for 30 minutes and boxing up the remains of almost an entire meal, my slim-eating companions allow their meals to remain with us at the table for another 45 minutes while we talk inside, then they hold their now room temperature food in their styrofoam containers as we say our farewells outside for another 25 minutes. Then they put what is currently at the prime temperature to breed microorganisms in their 107-degree cars while they shop for another hour, then drive 10 minutes home, to what, put the over-sized bacterium in the fridge and eat for lunch tomorrow, give to the kids for a snack, pass off to the unassuming babysitter?

...and why is it that I feel like the gross one after I finish my meal when it is hot and fresh?

I Never Mentioned It

2009-03-18T07:17:00.003-07:00

But it is kind of a big deal.

I recently cleansed my life of the these

and said hello to these bad boys

which may not seem like a big deal, but those jeans were my ultimate frienemy, and it is tough to break from toxic relationships like that, especially when the only thing you have to replace them with is jeans that are only long enough for you because they made a 3-foot crotch in them, because apparently having really long legs is some sort of freak, birth defect, so nobody makes really long jeans that are long because the inseam in long. Yet having a super crotch, well that is perfectly normal, in fact, if someone needs jeans in a long length, companies should just assume that is because they are suffering from your typical lengthy crotch, while their legs are a standard 30-inches.

Thank you Big Star Jean Co., for having some sympathy for the sub-humans out there, with our flailing limbs, and our standard crotches. Hopefully one day TLC will take notice of us and produce a feature of us "Human Spider Monkeys," and play it right along side "Mermaid Girl" and "World's Heaviest Man Gets Married."

Seating Charts (with original illustrations)

2009-03-16T09:50:00.001-07:00

As my blog has been collecting dust a repeated offense has come to my attention that needs to be addressed: seating.

You see, I consistently find that regardless of how many empty seats there are, someone always comes and sits either right next to me or way too close. Seating should be looked at the same way I once heard that the men's restroom described. Essentially, if possible, you should not be able to hear the person closest to you, whether they are peeing or chatting on the phone.

As you can see, the process of finding a place is a matter of combining space, balance, and my personal anti-social tendencies. The first person comes as far from the door as possible, the next person takes the territory as far away from the first person and the third person must improvise to find something suitable in the middle.

The following is a series of diagrams of where to sit in different locations and social situations. These can all be downloaded, printed, and used as a regular resource for both those who were previously unaware of the social seating rules and for those who suffer the effects of those who break the norms.

Bonus points to whoever knows the name of the chair below.

Exhibit A: Line of chairs in a hallway or waiting room

Note how with both urinals and chairs the spacing is key. Under only the most dire circumstances should one sit directly next to another; and in many circumstances it is better to just opt out of sitting instead of parking yourself immediately beside someone else.

Exhibit B: Theater seating

Exhibit C: Transportation #1

Exhibit D: Transportation #2

Now, I know what you are thinking: what a waste of so many chairs. What you need to understand is that many of these chairs will, in fact, be filled by those who travel in parties and by the purses, briefcases, and other effects of those previously seated.

I encourage all of you to spread the word of the social seating chart. In time, those who break the rules will realize that the rules were created for our freedom, and that we are all better because they exist.

Happy Holidays! With Love, the Worst Blogger Ever

2008-12-23T12:15:00.006-07:00

Blogging used to be the least productive thing I did in my life, now it is the least productive part of my life.

In fact, I posted on my cousin's blog ages ago to get handmade gift, on the contingency that I would post saying that the first two people to post on my blog would also get a handmade gift from me to, if they do the same thing (a little handcrafted, pay it forward, if you will). And I am only finally doing that right now (so again, if you are one of the only two people to post on this blog, you will get a handcrafted, Lacking Productivity original, handmade gift, however, you must make the same offer on your blog).

Now, we are a little late on our holiday greetings, so to those of you who I would should send a card, here it is, in all of its completely lazy, blog-posted, Christmas card glory.

and here is what I would have written to you, my family, friends, and virtual buds who have meant something special to me this year (sorry to those of you I forgot or I am pretending that I forgot):

Mom, Dad, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Thank you for everything. I know how lame that sounds, but it would be impossible to list all that you have done and meant to us over the past year. I don't know where I would be without any of you.

Mom, thanks for your understanding, humor, and good food.

Dad, thanks for your hard work, example, and patience.

Karli, thanks for your sharing, creativity, and forgiveness.

Konnie, thanks for your happiness, being easy going, and yummy treats.

Kohl, thanks for coming home, dedication, and sincere kindness.

Kyler, thanks for your sense of humor, getting me, and tough love.

Klarissa, thanks for your laughs, letting me torture you, and good taste.

Kevin, thanks for your funny comments, dances, and helping hands.

We hope you all enjoy the holiday season, the break, and the hundreds of feet of snow in front of your house. We love you!

Ray and Laura: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Thanks for keeping us around even though I (apparently) shut the door too loud in the morning, and we have more vehicles than are possible to drive at any one time, and we just don't have the same great taste that you do. We have enjoyed our time being around, which I can't imagine is always said when family members live so close together. Happy holidays. We love you!

Daniel and Heidi: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Congrats on the new baby...since we don't know if you have had it yet or not. Have you? Either way, we want to see pictures, know if the baby is a boy or a girl, and we want to know how everything is going as soon as possible! We love you and hope you have a great new year!

Jason, Giancarlo, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
I hope you guys get a chance to relax over the holidays and enjoy the season. You have had a long and busy year, but have been so classy through it all, but we wouldn't expect anything less from such an amazing family. You are in our hearts. We love you!

Katrine, John, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Merry Christmas you guys! Get some rest and take a break from all the moving, but then quickly get back to work because we are so so triple excited to have you guys close someday soon! Good luck with everything and please let us know if there is anything we can do. We love you!

Kelly, Travis, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Congrats on the new addition to your family this year. It has been so fun being able to see your blog this year and keep up with you more than I have ever have. You have a beautiful family, and the boys look as adventurous as possible. Have a great holiday season. We love you!

Zach, Ash, Saige, and Ryden: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
We need to see you guys more often. I don't know how many times we can say that, but we really need to one of these days. Congrats on the new baby (he is so stinking cute). Have a great holiday season. We love you!

Claire, Dennis, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
It has been great getting to know you better over the last few months. One of these days, I will get to speak to you in person and after ages of enjoying you through a computer screen, I will get to know the real person. Your words and thoughts and changed me. Thanks for sharing yourself. We love you!

Mike, Page, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
It feels like ages since we saw you last, I hope you guys find some great excuse to visit down here soon, or perhaps you would like to move? You always have a million things going on at once in your life. I hope you are enjoying every bit of it. Merry Christmas! We love you.

Dan, Jana, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
We really adore you folks. You are clever, funny, and tolerant of the really crazy families. Thanks for letting us get to know you (and probably annoy you) over the past year. I'll invite you to eat my mom's food some time soon. We love you!

JLo and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
I don't know you, really, but I adore you. Thanks for letting me pretend like you are my friend, even though you are really just Jason's friend who lets me read her blog. You are totally cute and your family is adorable. I must must must meet you the next time we go see Jason, or the next time we go out might be to see you and we'll have to have dinner with Jason sometimes during the trip. ;D We love you!

Melissa, Jason, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Thanks for being there for me so much these past few months. You have been such an incredible help and great person to vent to as I try to figure everything out. I am going to miss having class with you even though you are right next door. I hope you have a great, and very well-deserved winter break. Have a great vacation. We love you.

Jordan and Clay: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
I am so glad you have been enjoying yourselves so far away and that things seem to being going your way. Congrats on the new baby. I am so excited for you. Enjoy the holidays! We love you!

Bonny and Junaid: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
It has been so great hearing from you lately. Keep it up. You are a fantastic person and I am so excited to see where the future takes you. Enjoy the holiday season, and keep cooking all of those delicious things that you make. We love you!

Jenna: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorite!
Have a great holiday season! I hope things are working out great with you and your new life in a new place. I can't imagine you aren't making the most of everything, that seems to be one of the best parts of your personality. Keep in touch! We love you!

Karen, Chris, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
It has been so great to see what your family is up to lately. You kids are gorgeous and you all seem to have so much fun together. We really need to get together and have lunch one of these days. It would be so fun to see you. Have a great holiday. We love you!

Jessi, Dude, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
I hope you love your new home far away. It looks beautiful, and it seems like you guys are really enjoying yourselves. Your baby looks so sweet. I hope this year brings you the best of things, you really deserve it. Have a great holiday. We love you!

Dan: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorite! I hope being far away at some big, elite college is everything you hoped it would be; I'm sure it is. I hope life is serving you up the best, and you are enjoying it. Send me an email or something and let me know how everything is. Enjoy the holiday. We love you!

Stephanie, Andrew, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
You are so funny; it kills me! Thank you for sharing you life and stories with us. I always get excited to see what is going on in your crafty, clever, and so very honest life. Enjoy the holiday. We love you!

KaNeil and Oak: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
I totally miss you to pieces, but I am so excited for all that you two are up to. We have to get together while you are in town, even if it is just for a few minutes to catch up. I hope you love everything about your life right now and things are perfect for you. You deserve it. Have a great holiday season! We love you!

Royal, Danelle, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
It is always great to see you guys and your cutie-pa-tootie little one. I hope you guys have a great year, and everything keeps going as well in your lives as it seems to have been going. Best of luck with everything you are working hard on in your lives right now. Happy holidays! We love you!

John, Nicole, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
You have such a beautiful family and such large hearts. You are such and inspiration and so fun loving at the same time. It is so great to see the adventures in you life and the great ways you guys work through everything. Have a merry Christmas and a fantastic new year. We love you!

Reagan, Jon, and cat: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
You are totally my kindred spirit. Some of the things you say are right out of my own brain. I hope you are enjoying your posh life when "work" is at some incredible resort on a secluded and gorgeous, private island or in a 5 star hotel in Manhattan. Have a great Christmas. We love you!

Katie, Peter, and family: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Your lives seem to be in such a great place right now. I hope everything keeps going your way; you absolutely deserve it. We need to get together sometime and have lunch or something to catch up. It would be fun to fill in all the blanks and share memories of the old days. Merry Christmas. We love you!

Mindy and Michael: Oh my gosh, you are seriously our favorites!
Now that we don't have class together, we are going to have to be tons better at planning on going to lunch. I hope things go so well in your future and student teaching is so fun (you are going to rock it, by the way). Have a great holiday break! We love you!

Way Back in August

2008-10-14T13:52:00.006-07:00

Paul got stung by a bee
in his mouth.

Normal Paul

Bee sting Paul

Mercy Killing My Denim

2008-08-18T16:56:00.016-07:00

I want to talk about my jeans.

These are my favorite jeans.

As is noted in the image above, these jeans include several features no longer available in jeans purchased within the last 7 years. This is why I have taken such care in the preservation of said jeans.

The jeans fared well over the first two years, however I have spent the last three years carefully re-crafting the jeans internally with iron-on denim patches. The glue backing to the patches obviously creates a stiff thickness that is not common in traditional denim, thus these jeans can now stand upright without human assistance.

The past 8 months have been particularly difficult for the jeans. The knees practically refuse to bend without breaking; the thighs are nearly bare; the ripped-out hem is in shambles, and wear on the crotch makes Sex in the City look like High School Musical.

I know I need to mercy kill the jeans. Every time I look at them I hear faint echo of trumpets playing "Taps."

I fear the jeans are now creating their own holes in an effort to self-destruct. They know I don't have the guts to do it myself.

Sadly getting rid of these jeans represent several things that I am not ready to face yet; the most daunting of which is trying to find new jeans to replace them.

Since I shamelessly cannot yet remove these jeans from my life, I will continue my initial plan of patching the insides enough that I can simply flip the jeans inside out to reveal a pair of identical, however more durable, jeans hidden on the inside.

Corrections and Clarifications

2008-08-05T17:57:00.004-07:00

1. JLo actually tagged me for the quiz below first. Not Jason. Apparently he stole her thunder.

2. Katrine, ride on Jon's bullet bike whenever you want. I bet you look at hot as Morgan Fairchild playing the role of herself playing the role of Dottie on "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" riding on the back of Pee Wee's bike, where Pee Wee is, of course, played by James Brolin, playing the part of himself playing the part of Pee Wee.

3. If your wedding invite includes more than one happy picture of yourself...great. good. I'm just sharing an opinion and not judging...in fact, if you are any friend of mine, you may just be hot enough that multiple pictures are merited.

Ummm So You Totally Think I Rock...and Now There's Proof

2008-08-05T09:38:00.001-07:00

I know you all think I'm the bomb-diggidy...and I don't blame you. I mean, if you told me I rocked...who I am to call you a liar?

So here is the newest trophy to squeeze on my cluttered bloggy mantle

Thank you Jason...I can't believe you chose me when you have a haram following of female bloggers.

This award comes with a little quiz so you can all indulge in tasty tinbetts about my ever so fascinating life.

And this is the quiz that goes along with the award:

A. attached or single? Attached

B. best friend? St. Tropez Instant Tan Lotion

C. cake or pie? does the cake have frosting? yes. then pie.

D. day of choice? Thursday

E. essential item? really thick, padded, push-up bra

F. favorite color? the green of my eyes

G. gummy bears or worms? Haribo bears

H. hometown? Orem--Family City, USA

I. favorite indulgence? See's Chocolate

J. January or July? July

K. kids? zippo

L. life isn't complete without? sarcasm

M. marriage date? Oct. 07

N. number of brothers & sisters? 3 bros...3 sistas

O. oranges or apples? is the apple covered in caramel? no. then oranges.

P. phobias? birds

Q. quotes? "You harder to get a hold of than a greased pig at the county fair."--My Grandpa left on a voice mail message for me

R. reasons to smile? free anything

S. season of choice? summer

T. tag seven peeps! Does anybody else thing 7 is a lot

U. unknown fact about me? I look at the amount of Dietary Fiber in nearly everything

V. vegetable? Is stir fry a vegetable?

W. worst habits? Forgetting...everything

X. x-ray or ultrasound? x-ray...um who thought of that?

Y. your favorite food? My mom used to say this and now I know why: Anything somebody else makes for me.

Z. zodiac sign? Capricorn

Katrine also gave me a pity award several weeks back. But I'm over it now and pretending like it is totally legit.

There are a bunch of instructions and rules for this one...which kinda makes it like giving someone a puppy for a gift...here's your present...enjoy working and spending money on it.

Here are my 5 nominees: I am giving them accoding to specific post which I really enjoyed.

1. Reagan for this post about her auditioning for American Idol and including this line in the post "Once you have seen a gyno nothing makes you nervous"

2. A Wynn Wynn Situation for actually framing panties and making me want to do the same thing.

3.Webb on the Web because I knew her in high school and had my assumptions that she was the shyest, quietest, and most conservative girl on the block. This post changed all that and I couldn't be more happy about it.

4. Moosebutt I couldn't find my favorite, "That's what she said..." post, but here is one of them that illustrates what a clever moosebutt this fellow is.

5. 101 Reasons I'm Not the Mother of the Year because she is witty and the only mom I know who confiscated her sons imaginary cookies.

A Couple of Things I Learned While While I Stopped Blogging

2008-08-04T09:40:00.006-07:00

I don't know how I blogged before, because I seriously cannot think of content right now to save my life. I have, however, learned a lot about the world over the past several weeks. I'll share. But don't expect anything spectacular.

• 2% Milk is 100% better than skim. I am the only one who drinks milk in our house of 2, so I buy the fat free because it makes me feel like I am loosing weight when I open my fridge to words like "diet," "fat free," and "with a ton of seasonings to cover it up, you can pretend that this actually tastes like butter." I drank 2% this weekend, I felt like was drinking milk from the udder of a golden calf.

PS: Can anyone explain to me why Mary Kate and Ashley are either still alive or still cared about enough that people would photograph these two creepy, doped-up twin corpses?

• Taking pictures of events requires bringing your camera. And no matter how much you say it, you probably won't end up getting copies from other people.

• No matter how wide the isles at the grocery store, one person can always manage to block the entire thing off. Those people can and will use all their resources, carts, children, friends, etc, to ensure that you cannot get past them without awkwardly requesting for their "inconvenient" adjustment.

• Do not ride on the back of a bullet bike. If you actually saw a picture of yourself crouched, doubled over in a frog-like fetal positing resting on someone's back, you would never do it again.

Note: I did not say the following to insult or make anyone mad. Really, it's just an opinion, not something I judge people by. Paul told me I could make people mad with this.
• Wedding invitations should be limited to a single picture of the couple. There is a point where the invitation includes so many additional pictures of the couple that it begins to look self-indulgent: as if you think that you are so attractive, that a single picture just will not suffice...no no, everyone must see what we look like smiling, cuddling, kissing, playing, and of course, walking away holding hands.

I don't know Judd or Ellie, but wish them the best in their marriage all the same.

• VH1 is a black hole of productivity and brain capacity. The channel runs a stream of "I Love the [fill in any given year or decade]," countdowns, reality shows, and where-are-they-nows that if seen, cannot be turned away from. It is not possible for me to just know what the #53-#49 top songs of the 90's were. I have to know the #1, even if that means sacrificing the proceeding seven hours.

Look at this cornucopia of glitter, fashion, music, and trash. Can you blame me? Shut up...you do the exact same thing...and right now you are thinking of that thing Britney said on "The 40 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes Ever" and you are laughing...and agreeing with me.

• Even if my hair was fixed as perfect as my hair is capable of, it still wouldn't looks as good as Laura's does when hers has been camped in and not washed in 3 days.

On Hiatus

2008-07-21T14:20:00.003-07:00

Sorry. I know my vast audience is waiting with bated breath for my next stirring post. I have been a such a disappointment lately. My sincerest apologies.

So I haven't posted because I haven't had anything to talk about lately...I am going through a lame, yet stressful, phase right now and I really don't have anything that could or should occupy or entertain anybody's mind except mine.

I am still here...just coming up with something to say.

5 Things Tag

2008-06-25T08:31:00.001-07:00

I got tagged [forever ago] by Mindy to write 5 things about me and 5 about Paul. We'll start with Paul.

5 Things about Paul

1. In the course of one season, Paul has turned into a basketball FANATIC. I have always said I can allow a man one sport to obsess over, apparently Paul has taken me up on the offer.

2. One time, Paul and I caught a home-makeover show with Clinton Kelly from TLC's What Not to Wear. Paul turned to me and confessed his respect for the man and his work. That night I knew I had the right man because he loves my favorite man of fashion.
(I picked this picture out just for you Paully baby...doesn't our Clinton look dapper)

3. He hates being called at the last minute. It stresses him out. Even for little things, he requires at least 24-hours notice.

4. He loves chess and monopoly. Both games are ones that I promised myself I would never play. Paul is great at having me eat my words.

5. Paul is a recovering idealist. I say recovering because he lives with me who sort of forces a world of hard skepticism on him regularly.

5 Things about Kira

1. I love knowing where phrases came from. I know it won't help me anywhere in the future, but it fits quite well with the rest of the useless information I have floating around upstairs (like how many Americans have genital herpes).

2. My two favorite foods right now can (and will inevitably) kill me. Philly cheesesteaks and mint brownies. Please serve them at my funeral. (

Unfortunately I don't ever get them.)

3. I love pretty much all kinds of music, rock, pop, hip-hop, any given decade, even soft rock love songs. I am not, however, a big fan of punk: I can only tolerate high-voiced, screaming boys who are mad at their dads for so long.

On the other hand, if punk music was played out of a huge radio being carried by a man in a tank with a purse, I may just have to enjoy the moment.

4. I think that ice cream is best in a cone. I can rarely learn to trust someone who goes for the cup when given the option between the two.

5. Lately I am starting to look old to myself. Last night Paul and I ordered a bunch of pictures from the last like 3 years, and I look so much older now than I did in the 3 year old pics.
Here is one from summer 2006 where I feel like I look like my age.

Here is one from this past winter with my 14-yr old sis, and I look like her old aunt. Granted the glasses add age, but I can't blame them for everything.

Sorry my posts all look so long lately!

15 Years in a Nutshell

2008-06-16T07:20:00.004-07:00

I was tagged by Karen

This is the plan: Think back on the last

15 years

of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn't seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life?

You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.

Well, lets start at

filling you in

with where I was at when I left my dear friend.

15 years ago takes us to

1993

(for those of us who count years in film and music, it was a good one. We are looking at "The Fugitive," "The Nightmare before Christmas, "Groundhog Day" "Schindler's List," --and a top fave of mine--

"Much Ado About Nothing."

In music: "I Will Always Love You" (Whitney Houston), "Have I Told You Lately" (Rod Stewart), "All That She Wants" (Ace of Base), "Cryin'" (Aerosmith),

and one we just saw in concert,

"Plush" (Stone Temple Pilots).)

I was

9 years old

and in the

3rd grade

. Learning

the only math that I would EVER

use in my life and reading The American Girl Collection: Molly McIntire specifically.

Now for the bullets:

1• In 4th grade I got the

child bearing hips

that you aren't supposed to have until your mid-30s. Unfortunately, that is the

only womanly asset

I would ever have.

2• At the beginning of 6th grade, my dad would

unknowingly cheat

my way into the advanced math class while installing the brand-new overhead microwave.

3• I was selected as having one of the winning entries for the DARE essay contest. I had the honor of communicating the danger of drugs to my fellow 6th graders at 1996 DARE graduation. I rest assured that each of my fellow classmates have remained clean because of the impact of my speech.

4• I survived junior high...even after the whole Mary Hickey incident--that trashy, annoying, incessant little brat, (and yes, I did just use her real-life first and last name, and yes, I did just go there.)

5• Summer 1999, Camilla and I determined the official hotness order of the members of Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, and all other relevant boy bands of the day, while discussing other pop-culture news, like Britney's tanning habits and Christina's suspiciously thin body.

6• In high school, I had a

habit of dressing up

, you could say. In a way, I was taking a feminist stand by repeatedly presenting myself in stereotypical male roles: Doctor, mechanic...pimp.

7• I spoke at high school graduation...of which the

only benefit

is telling people you spoke at high school graduation. Thanks for listening.

8• After high school, I finally got out of the awkward-looking stage that most girls phase out of somewhere

before 11-years old

.

9•

Minus so many gruesome details

: Six years ago (think "Hey Baby"--No Doubt), I met an unforgettable young man named Royal. Royal had a best friend named Ben. 5 years ago ("Pirates of the Carribean"), I met Ben. Ben asked me out. We went on a date. I was not interested in Ben [censored drama] but Ben and I kept in touch. 3 years ago ("Batman Begins"), Ben had someone cancel out on a double date he was planning with his brother. Ben called me last minute to see if I could fill-in. I went and I met his brother, Paul. (To connect the dots for Karen, both Ben and Paul are Jason's brothers).

10•

I married Paul

(Oct. 2006). Sorry Ben. Now we live happily in Ray and Laura's basement. (Ray is Ben, Paul, and Jason's brother too.)

Now I tag my mom because she doesn't have enough to do this week, my dad because he never posts, Laura because I can imagine she would have some colorful bullet points, Katrine because I love hearing about her life, and Mindy because she is good about posting regularly.

Public Service Announcement (UPDATED 06.10.08)

2008-06-09T13:49:00.008-07:00

After attending a concert this weekend, I realized that there are FAR TOO MANY people out there who do not have mothers quite as explicit as my own. After seeing nearly every social and fashion norm broken in a single venue, on a single evening, I feel it is my duty to explain some things to those who may not understand the what is appropriate and what is not.

Being that this is posted on my blog, I realize this is preaching to the choir. Odds are that you can probably stop reading now, because you already know these things. I also realize that most people break a rule or two on rare occasions, but only because of necessity or accident. Those moments are forgiven. There is only a problem when someone breaks a rule without even realizing that the rule exists.

HERE IS THE LIST:

• Look at the outfit from both sides. Even though the skirt looks long enough in the front, it might not be in the back.

• No matter how tight you squeeze your legs together, if your skirt is short enough, we can still see right up it.

• If it is mesh, do not touch it. No matter how refreshing it may seem to have tiny holes throughout your clothing like little air conditioners, do not be tempted. Quickly walk away, in fact, leave the store, boycott any non-athletic apparel store that sells mesh.

• Just because the shirt is tight does not mean it is sexy.

• Just because your stomach is showing, does not mean you look hot.

• Just because you can zip them up, doesn't mean that the jeans fit.

• Pencil thin is not an appropriate eyebrow measurement.

• Do not pluck, shave, Nair, laser, etc your eyebrows off. They are a vital part of your face. If you remove them, you will have to draw them back on which NEVER looks natural and often forces a single facial expression all day depending on if you drew happy eyebrows, angry ones, or surprised ones.

• The tongues of your shoes go inside the leg of your pants.

• Do not touch yourself or others in public. In fact, your rights to love outside of a closed and private area end when the rights of another to not feel totally nauseous begin. If you are moaning, groaning, sweating, or licking you have most assuredly crossed the lines.

• If you plan on being sloshed by 2:30 in the afternoon, find a babysitter. Child Protective Services frowns on planning for your 7-yr old to be your designated driver.

• Bras are necessary.

• Brastraps are not an accessory.

• If you plan using your bra as a shirt, choose something black, cute, or colorful. White with pit-stains is a bad choice.

• If you plan on flashing a crowd of people, you are only telling us that there is nothing above your breasts worth looking at.

• Similarly, wearing a shirt that is only quick movement away from letting the girls fly, is only a way to distract people from looking at your face.

• I know the salesperson at the mall kiosk told you it looked gorgeous and totally natural, but he/she is a liar and you got hosed. Allow me to inform you that your ponytail hairpiece looks fake, plastic, and childish.

• No matter how fit and thin you look while standing up, it doesn't matter when you sit on someone's shoulders. Your jeans will inevitably poke into your skin at the front (making you look rolly-polly) while sliding down in the back (and no, the little tugs you did to try to pull up you pants did not work, and yes, we can all still see your butt crack).

• Though a clever way to sneak in alcohol, drinking liquor from a clear plastic bag that is secured with a rubber band is entirely savage.

• If one side of your shirt tells everyone how easy, sleazy, and desperate you are, please use the other side of the shirt to list the STDs that you already have and are willing to get.

• It is an insult to the poor Asian children who sewed the sleeves on your shirt when you cut them off.

I hope this list is taken in the spirit is was written, the spirit of service, enlightment, and education.

These are just the things I came up with off the top of my head, perhaps I will make this a running list as thoughts come to my head or issues come up.

MY SOLUTION:

Print of a sheet of my custom cards below to keep in your wallet or purse. If you encounter a faux pas or obscenity, you can hand the card to the offender. The cards are a discrete way to educate those who have probably lived their lives in ignorance, perhaps with friends who knew, but were too embarrassed to say anything. You can finally be the one to get them some help. The card points the offender to this post where they can be informed of their mistakes. It's fast-acting and non-threatening.

Oh my gosh...so sorry I'm like totally lame-o

2008-05-29T11:12:00.006-07:00

Thanks to those of you who, when reading my title, read it with the appropriate Valley-girl accent. For those of you who didn't, please try again.

Ok...so sorry I haven't posted. I am now

healed

from the harsh wind/sunburn I exposed my poor/sensitive face to, except now my face is now

retaliating

with a minor breakout as aftermath of over a week of having an inch of Vaseline and aloe on it.

I quit my job. My last day was actually May 02, but I haven't mentioned it on the blog yet, so it may be news. I am more than thrilled to not be involved in the dishonest scam that is Indigo Media. It is refreshing to no longer be a

slave

for

incompetent, chauvinist, liars, con-artists, manipulators, nepotists, cheats, power-hungry mongroles, cut-throats, demons, and thieves.

(For a split second I thought, "You should end that phrase with

'bless their hearts'

so you don't sound so cruel...some of these folk haven't seen this side of you. You can say anything you want and end it in 'bless their hearts' and suddenly it sounds sweet, like a cute little BandAid over the whole thing." But then I remembered, if I were to give those people any kind of BandAid, it would be a

used one

that I found at

the bottom of a public swimming pool.

)

Presently, I am working from home. I am doing some freelance design, I tutor French, and I am becoming a worship-worthy housewife. The house is clean, the bed is made, the laundry and dishes are done, and dinner is finished by the time my love walks in the door from work where I am there to greet him as the very

image of perfection,

in a stylish, frilly apron, skirt, heals. After we finish the delightful dish I created for dinner, I let Paul relax in his easy chair and watch basketball while I dote around him and rub his feet. I'm hoping that if I keep up all this good work, my sweet husband will

reward me

with those new yellow cleaning gloves I've been wanting, I would love to keep my hands more delicate, no man wants a woman whose hands look worked.

Sorry, things are boring. It's just life as usual around here, except for the fact that I usually don't put a bra on until 4:30 in the afternoon.

No, I Don't Need the Address to the Women and Children's Shelter

2008-05-20T10:44:00.009-07:00

Well, we went cruising on a ship, came home and went cruising on the bike. Now, I am thoroughly beat up.

We (Paul and I) went with Ray and Laura to LavaPalooza, a charity ride for March of Dimes and Autism, to Lava Hot Springs in Idaho. We had a great time riding up to Lava with like 400+ other bikes...and doing the people watching of a lifetime.

We got to Lava and showed the world just how white and trashy we can be.

I naturally sported my sunscreen because I have ~~pasty-white~~ fair skin, but the sun and wind challenged me over the 2-day battle, and they put up a better fight. I look like the combination of a battered wife, someone after a face-lift and lip injection, and a clown who put her face in a panini maker.

We'll start out with a before...this was on May 08, 2008, so you have something to compare the afters with.

Today: (And the pictures actually wash out all of the red sunburn, so try to add that on top of the rest)

Shut up...I'm trying to smile

I know that my lips probably don't look like much to you, but note that I have tiny snake lips. Do snakes have lips, you ask. Probably not. It's the same with me.

Oh...and I needed to explain that my face is swollen...some of you may have just brushed the roundness off in an effort to be polite.

It looks a lot worse than it feels, actually I feel fine, but I thought I would post some pictures for your sympathies. And by sympathies, I mean food. And by food, I mean See's chocolates. And by chocolates, I mean not the Fruits and Nuts.

The Trip

2008-05-14T08:31:00.011-07:00

Because I know how much everybody loves to look at other people's vacation pictures, here are mine from last week:

Paul's artistic shot in San Diego

The Midway Museum, San Diego

A helicopter for Ben

A fire station museum place

Our souvenirs, Catalina Island (shut up, those glasses rock and sometimes a soda is worth $1.61)

Our self-guided bike tour of Catalina

So cute huh. Just ask and I'll send this one to you. Framed. And autographed.

Why I married him

The Idaho Pictures...finally

2008-04-28T10:59:00.020-07:00

Paul and the inevitable future according to age progression imaging.

BIG NEWS: We have the Internet at home now! (Big kudos to Ray!)

It is sorta weird actually, having access the outside world from home. Like when you first get a cell phone, and you are all excited to be able to use the phone when/wherever you want...but then you realize, everyone else can get a hold of you when/wherever they want and it isn't so glamorous after all. That is where I'm at. As of Saturday, I had an excuse for not returning emails and not getting bothered by anything Internet before nine, after five, and on weekends...now it won't be so easy.

This also no longer gives me an excuse for not uploading pictures more frequently.

So here are the month-old Idaho pics to go along with my previously posted captions.

We start our trip, pulling up to the back of a small white house, on a large lot, in the middle of close-to-nowhere.

Our friends were practically waiting for us at the back door. We quickly went inside to be greeted by the crowned jewel of the home...the wood burning stove. This little black pearl is surrounded by the work of Ray and Paul and "The Mexicans" (which, I assume, is the name of a local handyman establishment).

We made small talk in the living room amongst one of the most extensive Native American art collections I have ever seen...but little did we know, they would add to the collection that very day...

Before tearing up the town, we decided to take part of the scenery that is the backyard.

Burt discussing whether or not the goats are pregnant by the rental male they leased a few months ago...he is fairly positive they are pregnant judging on the sheer size of their "tits."

and my personal fave:

The Van has been Vonna's beloved companion for decades now.
I wish I would have looked harder to compile of list of its contents; however I am sure there are at least 2 broken sewing machines (which she loves to offer people, in case you're looking), 1 antique vacuum, 2 cases of canning jars, and several mismatched pieces of china.

After the garden tour, we were itching to go see the Shelton Chapel that Burt had been telling us about.

Have you ever notice how something seemingly insignificant can hold a special sparkle and value to you when it shares your name? Ya. That's the Shelton Chapel.

Sadly our tour plans were cut short when the doors were locked. We took a picture anyways to commemorate the occasion.
I call this one, "Moonboots on hallowed Shelton ground."

After a day of seeing many of the nearby sights (a richly historical antique store, Fred Meyers, and the local flee market), we made our way back.

Now, I know what you are thinking. "What is it that they added to the Native American artwork collection that you forshadowed above?"

This little beauty: a 50% off, original, authentic, signed at the bottom, identifiably genuine Navajo pot.
Move over wood burning stove--there competition in the house.

Realizing this is getting quite long (and you have no clue how much was left on the editor's floor). I'll leave you with our parting gift: one of Burt's originals (I failed to mention that our friend is an accomplished, professional artist).

The painting now resides in our hallway (I want to paint the frame...any color suggestions?) where it brightens up what once was a dull walk to the bathroom. If you stop and give the painting a moment to speak to you, you can hear the faint words of the Rolling Stones, "Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away."

Urinary Confessions

2008-04-23T09:21:00.007-07:00

This post got me thinking along these lines.

I remember one girl in high school who used to laugh so hard she would pee her pants. She had done even done it at school. At the time, I thought it was ridiculous.

Then I remember when a friend, in a Zara's dressing room, trying on some clothes when she apparently just exploded, she just kept peeing and peeing and couldn't stop once the flood gates opened. Pee was all over the floor and she started using her clothes and a tank top she was trying on to clean it all up (this is way more hilarous than it sounds). To prevent the pee from going in the next stall she had to scoop it with her harms and soak it up. She left the store, soaking wet (fortunately she was wearing a black dress that hid the incident quite well, after buying the urine soaked tank. She told the gaging cashier, who had to hold the tank, and unroll the now dissolving tag to ring it through, that she spilt her drink on it.

I have never been so ~~entertained by~~ embarrassed for someone in my entire life.

Over the years, I have become more sympathetic to those who have suffered at the hands of pee, since my urinary track has become less kind. It's not that I need to go more frequently, it's just that when I need to go...I have to go...right then...no stalling...no second chances (I like to pretend like this has something to do with age and nothing to do with the bad habit of drinking a ton of fluid, really quickly, all at once). This condition has made me more comfortable with going pee in public restrooms and the like because it is a matter of necessity, not nice-ities.

So, in honor of the girls I once laughed at here is my most recent urinary confession.

Paul has to work overtime and weekends on a regular basis. Sometimes I'll work with him on the weekends so he isn't by his onesie. Until fairly recently, I could actually go onto the jobs to help him work (this was up until a particular situation that included Paul, Me, a camera, a bedroom full of nearly-nude female posters, and a comment about "faithful company representative extracting water"). Anyways, now when I go, we just drive around together and I bring homework or a book and read in the box truck while he is working.

Well, about seven seconds after Paul left into a new job, it hit me. But I couldn't use my only option because I didn't want get Paul in trouble [again] by going inside and asking to use the facilities. So I held it.

Do you know when you have to pee so bad that your back starts to hurt and it feels like someone has a death grip on your bladder and you can only sit one way, nearly doubled-over in pain, with your legs just right because that is the only thing holding it all in, and the whole world around you ceases to exist because the only thing that matters in the entire universe is whether or not you get to pee? Ya, it was one of those times.

This time I didn't have the luxury of waiting it out and hoping the urge would subside. As the seconds passed the emergency only seemed to become more severe. I became frantic for ideas. There I was, in civilization, but totally stranded.

Then I saw it. Three water bottles: two empty, one full. After asking the heavens for forgiveness for my cursing the fact that I wasn't born with a penis that would have made this situation a whole lot easier, I literally prayed that Paul would run out to the truck for something, anything, so I could use his knife. He came. *Alleluia*

I made him cut the tops off the two empty bottles (again, not having a penis eliminates any possibility of aiming, so I needed a more forgiving opening) and I ran in the back of the box truck (that I was terrified that someone would open trying to steal stuff, only to catch me doing that, in that position, in used water bottles) with tissues from my purse and the full bottle of water ready for my hands afterwards.

As the first bottle was quickly filling, I had no clue how i was going to do the switch over to the second bottle while in such an awkward position, trying not to drip on my jeans. I don't know how it worked out, but I made the swap. Whew! Clean. Safe.

Knowing that both of the bottles were 16 oz, and after cutting the tops off, they were now closer to 15 oz, I thought that would be plenty for the situation. I began to panic as the second bottle was quickly passing the half-full mark without any signs of stopping. I began to assess my options (we all know you can't stop mid-stream), the only one being to dump the water from my hand rinsing bottle without the top cut off. *rapid breathing*

It stopped. With two bottles, literally full to the brim, it stopped.

After doing the things we do after we pee, I hoped out of the back of the box truck into the apartment complex parking lot, grabbed my nearly 30 oz of urine and deposited it in the already dead grass behind the dumpsters.

As I got back into the truck to dump hand-sanitizer on, I glanced with gratitude to the heavens who had provided me with a way that day.

My Celebrity Tea Party

2008-04-16T09:36:00.012-07:00

I wish I could say this was a tag that I was asked to do so I didn't have to admit this is my own lame thinking.

Over the last couple hours, amidst my other random, embarrassing, and ridiculous thoughts, I have been thinking of my favorite celebrity women. Part of this thinking is due to my jealously of all the people who got to go to V to the 10th (the Vagina Monologues 10th anniversary show with a cast of Salma Hayek, Oprah Winfrey, Faith Hill, Jane Fonda, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Hudson, Glenn Close, Ali Larter, Calpernia Addams, Rosario Dawson, Kerry Washington, Jennifer Beals, Didi Conn, Christine Lahti, Doris Roberts, Liz Mikel, Charmaine Neville, and more) and part is just because sometimes I imagine having tea parties with celebrities. What? OK. Sometimes I imagine being all dolled up, wearing the best fitting and looking jeans the gods ever made, and dining with the A-listers. You do to, you just don't admit it.

So, if I were to have a girls-only luncheon with my favorite celebs...here would be at least some of the guest list. (Just so you know now, I would not invite Britney Spears: if I did, who would we talk about the whole time?)

TINA FEY
This woman is totally brilliant. Plus she did the best impression of Daisy on Rock of Love II that I never could have imagined.

JENNY MCCARTHY
I have probably had a heterosexual girl crush on her since like 7th grade. She is hot and goofy and really does it for me.

CHELSEA HANDLER
I was just recently introduced to this dry, sarcastic, spicy dish of hilariousness.

TYRA BANKS
Before Tyra was Tyranny (as I like to call her...ya...learn it...love it...pass it around. I did this before with The Pope-rah [for Oprah] but then Stephen Colbert took it and said HE came up with it...urg), I thought she was something else in the hotness realm. Now that I know what a crazy-nuts-o superpower she is, I can't get enough.

GWEN STEFANI
Can you blame me? She is a total icon.

ELLEN DEGENERES
This woman sweats humor. Being funny comes so naturally to her. I'm totally jealous.

So what do you think of my list? Do you have a thing for powerful blondes like I clearly do? Who would you add? Eliminate? Or what would yours be?

One Year Shy of a Quarter-Century

2008-04-09T08:23:00.015-07:00

Paul is 24 today! So here are 24 things about Paul (Nicole does this for birthdays, and I like it, so I'm stealing). (I know it looks super long, but it's fast, I promise)

1. He grew up in a house of endless adventure (I could listen to hours of his childhood stories)

2. Tragically though, Paul has one of the worst long-term memories ever (This forces me to rely on Jason's utterly entertaining memories to get my fix of Paul's childhood)

3. Paul loves mountain biking, though he does not have the time for it that he used to.

4. He is such a hard worker and does the inexplicable to support our little family.

5. He's a rocker (one day I have to figure out how to post his "Guns n Poses" videos)

6. And he's a biker

7. He wishes he could have long hair (me too), but has to cut it for work (don't even get him started on this ;D)

8. He wants to be a social worker.

9. He isn't a big fan of pets.

10. He loves Disneyland.

11. He loves basketball (oh my gosh...it's his new obsession!). (I wish I had the pics of him in his Jazz Brewer shirt up...and this pic makes me want short hair again)

12. He's hot.
13. His best friend since forever is Zach.

14. He loves The Office.
15. He loves Arrested Development.
16. He loves The Simpsons.

17. He has great eyebrows.
18. He studies really hard.

19. He is overwhelmingly supportive.
20. He loves the outdoors.

21. He loves chess.
22. He loves Peanut M&Ms
23. He loves The Great Sandwich.
24. He is the too honest for his own good.

Happy birthday to my baby!
You rock my socks off!

Idaho: The Appetizer

2008-04-07T12:29:00.004-07:00

Paully and I spent the weekend in Idaho visiting Paul's dad, Burt, and the illustrious Vonna.

It was a really great, interesting, and heart-wrenching, experience.
Anyone who has seen alzheimer's can only imagine what poor Burt deals with on a day to day basis. I can't attempt to tell you how many times he had to tell her it was too cold to go to the zoo, or that Tara (Vonna's daughter) isn't coming until Mothers Day. His life isn't far from babysitting 24/7. It was nice to try our best to give him a break and get to know them both better at the same time.

We must admit though, we kept ourselves plenty entertained with conversation.
I don't have the pictures up yet...they are coming soon...but here are a few quotes for starters.

"What's your name?" --Vonna
"Kira" --Kira
"Bet you can 'hear-a' lot." --Vonna

"We're just waiting for the Magic Hour."

"Let's go to the Flea Market, that'll kill some time." --Burt

"Bye. I'm taking the Nissan to go see Tara." --Vonna
"Let her go ahead and try. The Nissan hasn't started for years." --Burt

"There's plenty of good stuff in here" --Vonna (pulling an empty, plastic, store-bought cookie tray from the garbage can)

"Genuine, authentic, Navajo pot."

"Well, she's got some big ol' tits." (the reason why the goat is suspected to be pregnant)

"Oh how horrible! Of all the horrible, gruesome...look at the death and the gore...I am going to tell him how horrific that it...I am going to tell him!" --Vonna (at the sight of a hoodie with skulls on it)
"No. No. Stay here. You don't have to look at it; just look at us." --Paul
(Vonna stares at Paul, cross-eyed)

"Can I tell you a secret? I HATE Idaho." --Vonna

"Tie him up...hold him down." --Vonna

"Why do they call me snowball, when snowball ain't my name" --Vonna (singing)

"You two don't look anything alike for being brother and sister." (to Paul and me)

"Burt hates when I whistle. He turns away and pretends he doesn't see me put my fingers in my mouth to do it. It is so loud, so right after I do it, I look around like everybody else like I am trying to find out who did it." --Vonna

"I am so good at fixing things because I was born a boy." --Vonna

I'll try to get the pictures up tomorrow. You have to see Paul's dad...I can imagine him in magazines, he is the perfect looking old man.

It really was a great experience and I think we will be going up again...we have been invited to see the kids (baby goat kids) when they are born in May.

This Morning Illustrated

2008-03-31T15:28:00.025-07:00

Jason told the story of his day in pictures, and now I am copying.

We start our day at 6:40am to the realization that

skipped this

(not that it ever looks like that anyways)

only to lock these

and this

and this

(except mine looks nothing like this and didn't cost near as much)

in this

while it was running (on very expensive fuel mind you)

As the last one to leave, I was locked out of this

where I may possibly find spare keys

so I

to

for spares.

Only to find we have spares for every vehicle, except

so I ran

to borrow their

to call

who was stuck in this

because of this

and being a total

he turned around to

me.

and since I was

and had again

the

I had to

again

so I could wait inside, until my dear

arrived.

The End [of the morning at least]

Moments from The MAX

2008-03-19T14:39:00.007-07:00

My last post asked for a favorite TV show. Since I have already seen people post THE OFFICE and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT and 30 ROCK, I wanted to come up with something different. I'm pretty sure I have already mentioned the disgusting pleasure that is ROCK of LOVE with Bret Michaels and I like MEDIUM but I haven't watched it enough to consider it a favorite.

I had to dig deep...and I was wonderfully transported back to a time that is best defined by sports bras and bike shorts, hi-tops, and hairspray. Then I remembered Saved by the Bell.

So here's my countdown of my favorite moments and episodes with Zack Morris, Kelly Kapowski, Jessie Spano, AC Slater, Lisa Turtle, and Screech Powers, oh ya, and Mr. Belding. These are unimportant to you, I'm sure. But they may be historically relevant at some point and it is thus my duty to record these things.

(in no particular order)

BUDDY BANDS: Everybody was in this [like] marketing class and they had to come up with a product to produce and sell...well as in the entrepreneur world, tensions were high. AC took Kelly and Jessie and developed BUDDY BANDS-the commercial set a new standard in Bayside advertising.

JESSIE'S SONG: The most poignant episode of the series. Jessie has all the stress of the world on her shoulders (cheer, debate, SATs and trying to get into Stanford) and just can't take it anymore. In an effort to get more hours out of her day, Jessie plummets to an all time SAVED BY THE BELL low, by taking caffeine pills...but the team is there to catch her before she crashes, but after she attempts to sing "I'm So Excited."

THE SPRAIN: There is going to be a huge dance off at The MAX, but just days before the big competition, Lisa suffers a severe blow to the ankle leaving her hopeless for the big night...or so we thought. With a little last minute hope from her conflicted love-interest Screech, Lisa is able to compromise her dance moves and take full advantage of her crutches and cast.

THE PROM: Kelly and her family are going through hard times, so her prom dress is getting lower and lower on the family priority list. Prom is the defining moment of the Bayside High School experience and will potentially seal Zack and Kelly's love for eternity. Will her ability to afford a dress ruin all this or will Zack shine his light at the end of this dark traumatic tunnel?

THE JESSIE & ZACH SCANDAL Zack and Jessie are in a play together where the two, best friends since kindergarten, must kiss...will this change their relationship forever? Or worse, their relationships with AC and Kelly?

ZACK ATTACK Casey Kasem made a cameo appearance to introduce Zack Attack and their hit single "Friends Forever." Lisa and Kelly wore this vicious glitter dresses that blew my mind.

THE FINGER SNAP: Inconsistently and not enough for it to make any coherent sense in the series as a whole, Zack would snap his fingers and everything would freeze frame in time, but him and he would talk to his now visible and recognized audience. My favorite finger snap moment is when Kelly is in Mr Belding's office kissing her new boyfriend--Zack snaps his fingers and places a piece of paper between his ex-girlfriend and her new rebound's lips. I'm just not sure why he didn't finger snap right before they crashed Mr Belding's red convertible that they "borrowed" for the night.

GO FOR IT MUSIC VIDEO I have no recollection of why, but at one point the girls made a music video of an original Saved by the Bell song, "Go for It." It is really urban looking, in a dark alley somewhere, but with a feminine twist: they are all in bright, classic, spandex, aerobic gear.

LOCKER CLOSETS I don't recall the surrounding events as to why this happened, but one time, Lisa commandeered all the main lobby lockers, had them electronically linked and filled with her wardrobe so when she clicked a remote, all the lockers opened and were lined with the latest fashion.

THE WINK I am a sucker for the Zack Morris wink. There were these rare moments where he would look ~~me in the eye~~ directly into the camera and wink. *sigh*

Because of My Lacking Material, Here is the "Picture Quiz"

2008-03-18T10:44:00.015-07:00

What is your name?

[one of my] Favorite Food[s]:

Relationship Status:

Celebrity Crush:

[one of my] Favorite TV Show[s]:

[a] Band I Like:

What did you have for breakfast?

One thing you're wearing:

Favorite Color[s]:

Favorite Electronic Item:

Something fun you did in the last three months:

*clearly my life is thrilling

How do you feel right now?

The Tag that Takes Me Back to Junior High Band

2008-02-29T13:58:00.005-07:00

I got this tag from Tiffany, who, might I add, was ALWAYS first chair flute. I, on the other hand, remained a casual third chair.

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. Cashier at the Tie One On
2. Do-Whatever-I'm-Told girl for UVSC Alumni
3. Pawn at The Evil Print Empire (name stolen from Jordan)
4. Does anything you do for money count here?

FOUR MOVIES I WOULD (OR HAVE) WATCHED OVER AND OVER:
1. BBC Pride and Prejudice
2. The Rainmaker (w/ Matt Damon)
3. Much Ado About Nothing
4. Sabrina (the new one...Harrison Ford and Greg Kinnear <3)

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED:
1. my mom and dad's basement
2. the Hobson's basement
3. Ray and Laura's basement
4. I lived in an apartment when I was like 2
I am trying to prepare myself by living in the dark and cold, so it won't bother me as much during the Apocalypse.

FOUR PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY:
1. Blogger
2. Alpha T-Shirt Company
3. City Weekly
4. Facebook
Oh...you mean actual people?

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Ludwig raspberries
2. Sunbelt Fudge Dipped Coconut Bars
3. Ludwig Dried Apples
4. Chicken and Noodles

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. In an advanced statistic class
2. At the dentist getting a root canal
3. At the "down there" doctor
4. Stuck in the desert on the way to Arizona
Maybe just saying "anywhere not work" would be more clear

FOUR THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2008:
1. Teaching in the fall
2. Getting rich
3. "The Office" starting up again
4. 15 new Shane Company (now you have a friend in the diamond business) radio ads

FOUR FRIENDS I WANT TO TAG:
Anyone I tagged in the above picture

i am excited to announce...

2008-02-20T14:20:00.005-07:00

that I got an internship for next school year!

(I know, it's a terrible picture, but I have really been lacking on visual imagery here, so this is my attempt...and Paul made the award thing...not me...and yes, my eyes are open, that is just what I look like when I smile)

I had an interview yesterday and I was OH SOOOOO NERVOUS! I found out about it on Friday afternoon and was a ticking time bomb all weekend!

Well, I had an interview on Tuesday morning that was supposed to last 15 minutes, but it lasted like 45 mins instead...and guess what? They offered me the job on the spot! I will be teaching 4 periods of English 10 and a period of Journalism at a nearby (I mean REALLY nearby) high school, so I'll be responsible for *gulp* like 180 minds *breath in*breath out*

Now, I have more nerves than before, but there is a lot of excitement along with it.

So, if any of you have any favorite things, ideas, or lessons from teaching, English, or American Literature, let me know...seriously!

i win! i win! i win!

2008-02-18T09:37:00.005-07:00

My dear friend, Jordan, made a post about this i love give-aways blog after she won a cute pair of earrings.

Yesterday I won a JJ! Ok, so the only reason I won was because the real winner didn't claim her prize...but still!

These JJ things seem great because they organize all your jewelry for travel! I totally had some awesome earring ruined after my suitcase got randomly checked...the airport left my bag a mess with all my well-organized and stored jewelry (or so I thought) strewed all over the place...it was a sparkly nightmare. Who knows...maybe these JJ thingies will do the trick!

To win it's easy...just go to the I LOVE GIVE-AWAYS BLOG, follow the instructions, post, then check if you won. The site was created to help women who own small online businesses (like this one and these cute bags and all their state-themed cleverness) and you reap the benefits!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

2008-02-14T14:46:00.003-07:00

My parents have been married for 27 years today!

They are the best parents ever...they just seem to mesh well together. My dad is lucky that my mom knows everything and my mom is lucky that my dad is so easy going.

Over the past 27 years, they have raised (and are raising) 7, yes, 7, fabulous children...children so well-behaved and attractive that they set a precidence; they raise the bar, if you will.

Their examples to me, both as parents and as a couple, have really affected me. I am forunate enough to have seen a healthy and functioning marriage everyday of my life. I think situations like that are rare and I am grateful they took the challenge of living lives of unselfishness, kindness, generosity, and faith.

Oh...PS: It took Paul 7 HOURS TO GET HOME LAST NIGHT!

an ill reputed trade

2008-02-13T10:18:00.010-07:00

I recommend you read this carefully.

Since Laura's blog has recently displayed some reference and accusations to a specific snooper, I am here to explain myself, to lay it all down on the the table.

Here's the deal with me: I am a snoop.

I will admit to it to anyone. I feel like admitting it makes me MORE TRUSTWORTHY THAN EVERYONE ELSE, who probably does snoop, you just don't know they are doing it. They are sly about it; I am classy.

I am not a trashy snooper. I follow a strict set of rules.

• The golden rule: Snoop unto others as you would have them snoop unto you.

• I NEVER go into rooms where I am not allowed. To be honest, I feel VERY VERY VERY uncomfortable in other people's homes (probably from the countless "don't touch ANYTHING" lectures). If you say off limits or if I feel apprehensive about any area, I won't even test the waters.

• If I don't know the person well enough, no snooping will happen. Again, I do not really enjoy being at other people's homes, so if I don't know the person, I am in and out as quickly as possible...only the familiar are at risk to my prying eyes.

• Some people are not snoop-worthy. I will not snoop in these homes. If it's not a challenge, it's a waste. I won't mention the names of those people as to not embarrass them from my lack of fascination with their private/secret lives.

• I can never ask about the things I find. I am not a good liar, so I couldn't even bring it up innocently. I don't even try. The stories I come up with and the explanations I concoct in my mind are far better that the reality I'm sure, and it leaves that delightful sense of mystery.

• The snooper's creedo: always leave the inspected area exactly how you found it. Every dust particle must be replaced to its original location.

• I always separate the snooping from the person being snooped on. It is totally non-judgmental and non-emotional. The act is entirely for the thrill of the hunt. I have never looked at anyone differently after snooping.

• I usually stick to bathrooms. They are the easiest, by far. Locked doors, good lighting, mounds of precious detail. But that does not mean they are easy, no, no, my Deshi. They key is to act fast, too much time and people start asking questions. You have to prioritize. You have to master the technique.

• I do not go into bedrooms unless I am invited.

• I am not a paperwork snoop. I don't deal with the red tape arena. This is the specialty of some snoops, but it doesn't meet my taste. I like objects, not information. I am not out to uncover some secret scandal about an untold affair. I don't care what kind of insurance plan you have. As I said before, I want to make it all up myself. Facts frighten me.

• Junk drawers can be quite amusing. Usually junk drawers are in a central location, but you can snoop in Big Brother's plain sight. Looking for a pen, paper, etc., can be your ticket to a treasure chest of tall tales. You typically only get one swift look though, so don't get caught off guard when you have to take an instantaneous mental snapshot.

Now that you are savvy to my gift (as I like to call it), if you say "no snooping" I won't even think about it. Actually, if you say it, I probably won't even want to. You see, unlike the misconception that if someones says not to, you should want to even more because they have something to hide, the people who don't want snoopers are typically the most boring anyways...so I appreciate the warning.

Here are the facts:
• I snoop for sport and sport only
• Of my known blog lurkers, there is only one whose home I have snooped in
• If you ask me, I will tell you if I have snooped (again, I can't lie)
• If I didn't tell you that I snoop, you would have never known, even if it happened to you
• My snooping has slowed down DRAMATICALLY over the years, I just can't give it the time I used to
• If I need to go to the bathroom at your house, it's because I really need to go, not some lame excuse to rummage through your medicine cabinet
• This is not an inherited trait, I do not share it with family members, however I am sure it stems from my wiring on a cellular level

Lyrical Injustice

2008-02-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

Today I caught myself thinking about the worst lyrics presently stored in my brain. I decided to share. I apologize for the sheer mass bad lyrics displayed here, tragically there are more. This list has been filtered down to some of my favorites.

Please feel free to share some of yours too.

"Coast to coast, LA to Chicago" (Smooth Operator-Sade)

"I'm blue dubba dee dubba di" (Blue-Eiffle 65)

"Met my old lover in the grocery store" (Same Old Lang Syne-Dan Fogelberg)

"I stole behind her in the frozen foods" (Same Old Lang Syne-Dan Fogelberg)

"Unskinny bob, just blows me away. Unskinny bop bop, all night and day" (Unskinny Bob-Poison)

"Now you all grown up like Rudy Huxtable" (Lovers and Friends-Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris)

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake" (21 Questions-50 Cent)

"I'd like to check you for ticks" (Ticks-Brad Paisley)

"If I was a sculptor, but then again, no" (Your Song-Elton John)

"Young girl get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line" (Young Girl-Gary Puckett and the Union Gap)

"With all the charms of a woman, you've kept the secret of your youth" (Young Girl-Gary Puckett and the Union Gap)

"You led me to believe you're old enough" (Young Girl-Gary Puckett and the Union Gap)

"You will achieve dream control" (Silent Lucidity-Queensryche)

"And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, he might blow up and kill this man" (Achy Breaky Heart-Billy Ray Cyrus)

"I've got a soul but I'm not a soldier" (All These Things I've Done-The Killers)

"I wish it was Sunday. That's my fun day. My I-don't-have-to-run day" (Manic Monday-Bangles)

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains" (Whenever, Wherever-Shakira)

"There were plants and birds and rocks and things" (Horse with No Name-America)

"Loving would be easy if the colors were like my dream: red, gold and green" (Karma Chameleon-Culture Club)

"My panty line shows, got a run in my hose, my hair went flat, Man, I hate that!" (Honey I'm Home-Shania Twain)

"Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball" (Champaign Supernova-Oasis)

"Everybody wang chung tonight" (Everybody Have Fun-Wang Chung)

"This s*?> is banana. B-A-N-A-N-A-S" (Hollaback Girl-Gwen Stefani)

"Friends--check. Money--check. Well-slept--check. Opposite sex--check..." (Something's Missing-John Mayer)

"The way that Kathie Lee needed Regis, that's the way y'all need Jesus" (Jesus Walks-Kanye West)

and my personal favorite:

"In the suite, on the news, everybody dog food" (They Don't Care About Us-Michael Jackson)

another tag (10 things about moi)

2008-02-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

In order to get another post out here, I am accepting Reagan's tag for writing 10 things about me me me! Here it is, in the third person, just to be annoying:

1: Kira really enjoys getting reactions out of people...Kira is constantly repressing stunts, antics, and comments that she would only indulge in for the shock of it all.

2: Kira wishes she could do a multi radio station makeover: take out the fake laughing, take out the stupid names, take out the really bad commercials (namely the pay day loan centers and the change the lyrics to ruin a perfectly good song ads) take out the DJs she doesn't like, etc. ~~Kira~~Everyone would be a lot better off.

3: Kira hates (yes, it's that strong of a dislike) when the tongues of shoes are outside someone's pants.

4. Kira finds crackers with Jack cheese and yellow mustard wonderful.

5. Kira adores wedding invitations, less because she likes weddings, more because she likes to critique the pictures.

6. Kira is movie fanatic (right now she is craving "Dear Frankie"... it has that deelish Gerard Butler AND a good plot!)

7. Kira longs for her last name to be "DeVine" (she wonders if Paul would go for it? Change both names: Mr. & Mrs. DeVine...sounds like a sexy thriller movie huh)

8. Kira loves listening to the background music on reality tv...the excitement, the drama, the sheer artificiality of it all.

9. Kira works in an office that is either too cold with the door open or too hot with the door closed.

10. Kira wants to coin several pop culture phrases in her lifetime: starting with "CONCAVAGE" (con-cay-vaj): In contrast to cleavage, where two breasts are squished together forming a cleavage break, as if in a rock, concavage is the visual effect that takes place when two breasts are separated. Take it, spread it, credit Kira.

here you go, Jason. I completed the tag.

2008-02-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long...seriously, I think about what to write all the time, but I never come up with good ideas. So if you have any things you want to know about (other than how I got so hot, cause I've tried, and it can't be explained), please let me know.

How long have you been blogging?
Since Friday, Sept. 29, 2006, making my little baby 16 months old (right?).

What inspired you to start your blog, and who are your mentors?
I really had no intention of keeping it up when I started it, but then I remembered just how awesome I am and how much people like me, so I kept it up. Originally I just wanted to comment on Katrine's, Laura's, Ky's, Moosebutt's, and The Waterlogged Blog

Now I have a ba-gillion blogs I like to keep up on (thank you Google Reader!). Many links are on the side, but my list does not stop there. (here's the newest one I learned from Jordan...its a give-away blog!)

Are you trying to make money online, or are you doing it just for fun?
Never. I wouldn't sell out like that.

What 3 things do you love about being online?
Outside of the things that I thought of that made me laugh that are also inappropriate and very immature:

Studies do not conclude being online can make you:
1- fat
2- ugly
3- pregnant
like all the other good things in life.

Chat and IM.
Rarely im, never chat. I have, however, been required to post on online forums for school...so I'm clearly keeping up.

PS: HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY tomorrow!

Rock Band

2008-01-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

Jason did this on his blog. It amused me and I copied. He found it from a site called Avitable I copied this link he posted with a content warning for it's potentially offensive material.

This activity however is scandal-less fun.

LET"S MAKE A BAND!

YOUR BAND NAME is the title of the first article you find on this random Wikipedia link
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random)

YOUR ALBUM TITLE is found on this site. Click on "New Random Quotations" at the bottom of the page. The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
(http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3)

YOUR ALBUM COVER ARTWORK: is the third picture on this site.
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

I want to see or hear about yours too. No cheating!

Here's mine...

Today's Fav

2008-01-18T10:10:00.001-07:00

Today my favorite thing is Google Text (am I the last one to hear about this or what? yesterday in my class, everyone knew and when I told Paul, he sounded like I was telling him about this cool new thing I heard of called the Internet, like I am so out of it).

In case you're like me and this is new to you...here's the skinny:
text a question, information, direction, etc you want to GOOGLE (466453) and Google texts you back a response.

I tried a couple searches and I'm hooked.

Here is my first ever Google Text convo:

Me: movies 84058

Google: Orem, UT 84058 1) Cloverfield 2) National Treasure: Book of Secrets 3) The Bucket List
Send 1 to 3 for showtimes, or NEXT for more movies

Me: 3

Google:(1/3)Movies: The Bucket List 1hr37min Rated PG-13 Action/Adventure/Drama 3.0/5

Cinamark at 12:20 4:00 6:50 9:15 1200 Town Center Boulevard Provo, 84601

Google: (2/3) 801-852-2872

Cinemark 12:00 2:30 5:00 7:30 10:00 715 West 180 North American Fork, 84003 801-756-7842

Google: (3/3) 790 Expressway Land Spanish Fork 84660 801-798-9777

Tip: get weather forecast; send HELP WEATHER to learn more.

This is huge for me. I remember my 5th grade computer teacher, Mr. Pratt, telling me he wanted to get to the point where he never had to use paper, everything in his life would be digital. I have a similar goal, I want to have all the information I need without ever having to listen to another recorded message or have to press "1 for English" then a series of other numbers none of which are humans and you continue pressing "0" to get the operator, each time pushing the button harder and harder as if that is going to help. Then there is that incessant voice recognition where you keep telling the machine "YES" louder and louder because its only response is "Sorry, I couldn't understand what you said. Did you say 'Yes?' If you did, say 'Yes.' If you did not, say 'No,'" and then you scream "YES" and...sorry, am I venting?

*Standard text messaging rates apply

Things to Ponder

2008-01-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

Today little is going on at work, so I am left with things to think about.

• Who to vote for in the Primary Elections--without any luck from reading platforms and agendas, I have chosen to wait to see who Stacy and Clinton say is best dressed.

• Do I salvage these jeans? They are my favorite, but they have done their duties and they are suffering the effects of countless wounds. They have served me well. Though it aches my heart, I must consider putting this noble denim veteran's corps out of its misery.

• What should I make for dinner? Salad seems like the healthy choice, but sometimes salad just doesn't fit my weather-related moods. Cold=soup (but salad is easier).

• How do I work with my hair at this length? In an attempt to give Paul back the long hair he prefers, I am stuck with a mop that is too long to be spunky and to short to be manageable.

• Do I resist the urge to take State Street home. It takes (100x) longer, but I am so bored with the freeway. I see at least 6 days a week, twice a day, if not more.

So that's what I'm thinking about this January 11th, 2007. Signing out.

UPDATE: 01.09.2008

2008-01-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to post. Honestly, I have. There is just little to nothing of note going on in our lives right now.

I did however, copy-paste Katrine's response to the previous post and emailed it off to the ladies of the church. I am awaiting the response. I have heard nothing as of yet; you will be kept abreast.

We ended the last semester much like this:

with flying colors (see Jason, I've got a flag on my blog now too ;D)

We just started the new semester.

I'm applying for fall semester student teaching. I'm scared to death.

Paul has his first semester of all social work classes. I'm scared to death.

My hair feels soft today. That never happens. But I bought BioSilk last night.

We are still married.

I'm not pregnant.

We're not "trying."

So, that's it for this January 9th, 2008.

In Dire Need of Creativity

2007-12-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

I recently received the following questions in an email from the women at my church. The responses are used to make short, monthly spotlight to help everyone get to know each other better.

Since I've been little, I have expanded the truth on most questionaires: I would tell my teachers that my mom was an exotic dancer and my dad was a dolphin trainer.

I really couldn't care less what the responses are (truth is variable and subjective anyways...right?), but I would like to perhaps, entertain (or confuse) the ladies that may read my spotlight (if and when I actually happens).

If you have any suggestions for any or all of the questions below, please, humor me.

Full Name:
Names and ages of children:
Where did you grow up:
Where else have you lived/traveled:
What is your occupation:
What are your hobbies/What do you do with your free time:
Is there anything unique about you that the women in our church might not know?
Favorite Scripture:
Anything else:

100 Great Products to Honor 100 Forgettable Posts

2007-12-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

A Blog to Endorse Commercialism

For my 100th blog, I wanted to share with you 100 of my guilty pleasures and favorite things (like Oprah, except, I really don’t have influence on anyone and you won’t actually be getting these products).

In the order they came out of my head:

1. Sephora Grapefruit lotion (you will literally salivate)

2. Double Stuf Oreos

3. California Rolls from Costco

4. Jergen’s Ultra Healing Lotion

5. Burt’s Bees Wax Lip Balm

6. Estée Lauder MagnaScopic Mascara (though I can’t afford it)

7. Loreal Voluminous Black Mascara (the one I can afford)

8. Mary Kay Cream Foundation (wet your sponge for best coverage)

9. Welch’s Grape Juice

10. Peach Citrus Fresca

11. Urban Decay XXX Shine Cooling Glittery Lipglosses (the tingle is addicting)

12. Pantene Curl Defining products

13. BioSilk Serum

14. RedKen Blonde Glam Pure Pearl

15. Almond Joy

16. Wal-Mart Smiles Fruit Snacks

17. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

18. Swedish Fish (red only)

19. Dark Chocolate M&M’s

20. McDonald’s Fruit and Yogurt Parfait

21. McDonald’s Vanilla Ice Cream Cone

22. Bajio’s Green Chile Chicken Salad

23. Smokehouse’s Margarita Pizza

24. Parmesan Crusted Tilapia from Sam’s Club

25. Harry and David’s Moose Munch

26. Harry and David’s Relishes (with cream cheese)

27. Juicy Couture Parfum Spray (my mom has it…I’m jealous)

28. Chanel Allure (Paul-wear it more often)

29. Giorgio Armani Acqua Di Gio (warning: may cause irrational loss of decorum)

30. “The Office” Season 1

31. “The Office” Season 2

32. “The Office” Season 3

33. Mary Kay “Sheer Blush” Lipstick

34. Mary Kay “Satin Hands” Collection

35. Mary Kay “Satin Lips” Collection

35. Mary Kay “Sugar Plum” Eye color

36. Mary Kay “Whipped Cocoa” Eye color

37. Maybelline “French Vanilla” Eyeshadow

38. CHI flat iron

39. CHI 1” Curling Iron

40. CHI hair dryer

41. Costco’s Haagen-Daz Ice Cream Bars

42. Nuffin Inc., Writing Boards (the #1 best thing for Sacrament Meeting)

43. Sharpie Fine Point Permanent Markers

44. Jack Handey Quotes (seriously, one a day will change your life)

45. TheraTears Eye Drops

46. Equate (Wal-Mart) IB-Profin

47. Sonicare Toothbrush

48. Crest Glide Floss

49. Caruso Steam Curlers (I don’t know if these are still being sold, but they rock)

50. Lacross Tweezers (from Wal-Mart, with the orange finger grips)

51. Grand Parisian Salad Mix from Costco

52. Roasted Chicken from Costco

53. Pepperidge Farm Milan Cookies

54. Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider

55. Wendy’s Vanilla Frosties

56. Wendy’s Chocolate Frosties

57. Wendy’s Rootbeer Frosty Floats

58. Taco Bell Grilled Stuffed Chicken Burrito (they’re way too pricy)

59. Stauffer’s Animal Cookies

60. FiberOne Chocolate Granola Bars

61. FiberOne Honey Clusters

62. FiberOne Original

63. Skintimate Pear-Scented Shave Gel (you’ll want to lick the skin off your legs)

64. Jelly Belly Juicy Pear (way better than the real deal)

65. Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn (sweet, salty, and doesn’t get caught in your teeth)

66. Sun Chips

67. Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Soup

68. Brianna’s Poppy Seed Dressing

69. Ocean Spray Craisins (or the cheap brand)

70. Rold’s Gold Thin Twist Pretzels

71. Dollar Tree $1 Knit Gloves

72. Hershey Kisses

73. Any brand of Cinnamon Bears

74. Any brand of Wafer Cookies

75. Anna’s Ginger Thins

76. Crest White Strips Premium

77. Physicians Formula spf20 Bronzer

78. Kleenex with Lotion

79. Carnegie Deli Pickles from Costco

80. Philippine Dried Mango Slices from Costco

81. El Azteca Bean and Cheese Burritos

82. Berry Skittles

83. The orange Starburst in the Tropical Mix

84. The purple Starburst in the Tropical Mix

85. Comet Cleaner

86. Nexcare Waterproof Bandages

87. Any brand of Reusable/Disposable Containers

88. Victor Lock De-Icer

89. Fun-Size Reese’s Peanutbutter Cups (they’re better small)

90. AirHeads (I never eat them, but love them)

91. Oh Henry Bars (do they still sell those?)

92. Staples Brand CLX Gel Pens (black…never blue)

93. Orange Tic-Tacs

94. O’Keeffe’s Working Hands Lotion

95. Haribo Gummi Bears

96. Fountain Drink Refill Cups (save some money, save the world)

97. Heating Blankets (whatever brand will do)

98. Subway Veggi Delight Sandwiches (tons of lettuce & everything except jalapeños )

99. Redken Root Boost

100. Weigh Watchers Chocolate Cakes (like Zingers)

Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and I'll see you soon!

Sunday Quotes

2007-12-17T12:13:00.001-07:00

Paul and I keep mental lists of our favorite lines from the 5-year old class we have been asked to teach every Sunday for our church. They won't be as funny to you as they are to us, I know, because we can hear the hilarious ways they said all of these, and we don't already hear funny things from our own kids on a daily basis.

Here are a few of their remarks:

"This song better be short"

"I'll put it right there on his penis"
"What?!!!"
"I'll put it right there on his butt"
[he was placing a triangle ray on a sun]

"My brother steals. He steals from my grandma."

"I hate the foolish man" [referring to the "the wise man built his house upon a rock" song]

[After telling a story about sharing and taking turns]
"What if your little sister asked you to play on the swing and you yelled 'NO' and punched her in the face...would that be a good example?"
"No. But it would be so funny."

"How long is this going to take? Will it take until I count to infinity? It's always infinity."

"I can see your skin [pointing to my chest]. There are two bumps. What are those?" [I took note of that bra brand and style. Apparently it fooled a 5-year old.]

There have been countless others which didn't make the cut (I forgot them), but if this pose deems successful, more will probably come as our class changes with the new year. Until then bon appetit!

For Those of Us Who Still Like Adolescent Jokes

2007-12-10T15:59:00.000-07:00

My parent's good friend (and I would like to call him my friend too) Splinger Moosebutt nearly brought me to tears with this, one of his many hilarious and totally original posts.

All I can say about it, is that it left me giggling and satisfied. [That's what she said.]

(I hope this is OK, Splinger. If you want me to take this down, please let me know. I don't know how exclusive you want your blog to remain)

Christmas Quiz

2007-12-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

Here you go Jason (I fulfilled my tag). For this I would like to specifically tag Klarissa (actually, I don't care if you actually repost this, I just miss your writing you never post and you freaking crack me up).

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper with bows

2. Real tree or artificial? Real, with a hazardous amount of lights

3. When do you put up the tree? Just after Thanksgiving

4. When do you take the tree down? In the spirit of tradition, January 01

5. Do you like eggnog? Ya, but just a shot here and there

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I don't know that it was my favorite, but the one that stands out is the stuffed animal cat.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Mmmhm, with love from my Grandparents Ludwig (both HUGE nativity connaisseurs)

8. Hardest person to buy for? Paul (he gives the funniest, sweetest, most heartfelt, thoughtful gifts...I can't live up to it)

9. Easiest person to buy for? Girls who like lotion and candles

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? can't think of any...unless white elephant gifts count...then it was the diaper full of melted Reese's peanut butter cups.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail, even though I don't mail

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? "Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas" (my assumption is that few of you have seen this, so synopsis: Basically, it's that old story with hair clip and the watch chain...but it includes some poor, but vocally gifted otters battling out with the crude hooligans in "The Riverband Nightmare Band.")

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? before Christmas

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Who me? Uh...no...why do you ask? (that hymn book was engraved wasn't it? I told Paul to check it first)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? homemade caramel...homemade fudge...homemade tacos...then New Years Eve and Day...homemade stuffed mushrooms...prime rib...potatoes...

16. Clear lights or colored on the trees? now it's those incredible LED lights that are really white white and not clear which is really yellow

17. Favorite Christmas song? way too many...I'm a Christmas music junkie

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? I will answer that question with a question...actually I won't. Yes. Yes, I can.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Whatever, right now we have some sort of metallic contraption...but the great thing is and we're receiving 73 extra cable stations for free!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve, the rest in the morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? snow

23. What I love most about Christmas? See #15

The Stars Aligned--Sing Great Praises!

2007-12-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

I had come to terms with the fact that I would never again see my sweet wedding ring. I had scanned every parking lot on my hands and knees. I had retraced steps. I had gone through garbage cans for crimney's sake. It was gone forever in my mind. I had accepted it.

BUT OH MY GOSH!

2:51PM, Provo, UT: This guy who works in the warehouse portion of my work, who I have really only said hi to in the over 3 years I have worked here saw me come into work this afternoon. I waved and he kept walking (yes, I know, I'm making this way longer than it needs to be) then he stopped and backed up and held something up between his fingers, "This isn't yours is it?" ("it's not your ring, Kira, calm down," I was telling myself) I got closer and it was!!!

MY RING IS FOUND!!! I nearly kissed him! I was elated! I still am. He said he found it in one of the cracks in the parking lot. This is where I should write one of those gushy thankful posts about how blessed I am. I am totally blessed...but I'll leave the gushy up to my sister, Karli.

It's Hanukkah (or is it Chanukka)

2007-12-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Hanukkah to all! I am doing a lot better today (still wedding ring-less, but good)! Thanks everyone for your sweetness. My brother Ky reminded me of this treasured holiday early this morning and so I wanted to spread the Festival of Lights joy. My mom is great at making yum yum yummy Hanukkah foods to celebrate...on that note...can we come over tonight mom?

Everything's fine...I'm just having a meltdown

2007-12-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

So it's one of those days. Everything is due this week; I have finals next week; I am tired; I am sick; I am at my wits end with my right eye: it hurts and it is no longer allowing me to wear make-up: the one thing that gives me solace and makes me feel human on bad days ... and to tip the scales ... I discovered my ring missing at approximately 11:47am today (I swear I had it this morning...maybe I didn't...anyways...I went to pretty drastic measures to find it...all of which were failed attempts. I am torn between letting go (realizing it is a lost cause) and hoping one of those Chicken Soup for the Soul stories will happen to me and I will find it growing around a carrot in my future garden somewhere (you're right, I'll just give up...it makes me sound less crazy).

*breath* *breath* *breath*

I have lost all ability to emotionally cope at this time. I realize I am being dramatic; but, please, just allow me one this time.

Please join me on tomorrow's complaint-less edition, where I will highly medicated and happily institutionalized.

Top Holiday Flicks

2007-12-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

These are my top holiday flicks ("It's a Wonderful Life" and "Mr Kruger's Christmas" are not there because I've never seen them, I know, I should, I know, it makes me less Christian for never having seen them. Sorry. I'll make it my Christmas goal)

in no particular order:

Emit Otter's Jug Band Christmas (OK, this might actually be my favorite)

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer

Elf

A Christmas Story

Santa Clause is Coming to Town

The Year Without a Santa Clause

A Charlie Brown Christmas (thanks for reminding me Mike)

That old Muppet Christmas special with John Denver

Home Alone

Muppet Christmas Carol (OK, cat's out of the bag...I love the Muppets...I've got 3 of their movies on this list alone)

Miracle on 34th Street (the newer one with Dylan McDermott...my first crush ever...can you blame me? Even at 10 I had good taste. And again, I haven't seen the old one)

Look at those rich blue eyes and then you'll see why I could care less if I ever see the old version. MmmmMMMmmmmMMMmmmmm!

Tall Tales of Christmas Trees

2007-11-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

Last night Paul got the Christmas lights working on our tree. We are dressing her all up for the holidays tonight.

I can stare at Christmas trees for hours. I love the sparkle and the lights. Christmas trees are my favorite part of the holiday. There has always been something particularly spellbounding about my family's tree. I don't know that anyone else out of our family would love it: it's drenched and dripping with hundreds of the crazy and mismatched decorations (no theme tree on any level) that span my parent's marriage.

When I was younger we literally had the biggest tree around. My parent's living room ceiling is vaulted and so we had a tree that would reach the highest peak at 21ft.

My dad and mom were (and still are) fabulously meticulous about the lights. Each branch is wrapped to the tip and back (the white glove technique includes standing back, blurring your eyes and looking for dark spots without lights).

but it was an astounding 21 feet of work (for my mom and dad) including:

•Choosing the tree (in the snow, with all the kids)
•Cutting it down
•Tieing it to the car
•Bringing it in the house
•Standing it up
•Stabilizing it (with a variety of techniques)
•Vacuuming
•Watering
•The bazillions of lights (how many did you put on there dad?)
•Vacuuming
•Watering
•Pulling out ALL the decorations
•Decorating
•Vacuuming
•Watering it
•Vacuuming
•Removing all the decorations
•Removing all the lights
•Taking it out of the house
•More Vacuuming
•Chopping it up
•Disposing of it

In my eyes our tree was not only a testament to human patience and parental sacrifice, but it was a neighborhood phenomenon. I loved watching cars and people stop to try to see just how tall our tree was.

I think when I am 90 years old, I will still be telling people about the giant trees...but by then my age will give me the right to tell the story with even more excruciating detail and it will probably entail a 73ft trees with over half a million lights or something and possibly a phone call from the President with thanks for our diligent holiday service to the community(I'm not sure, I'm still working on some ideas)...but you bet I'll still be bragging about it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2007-11-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite hectic with mounds of homework, but it is no excuse! I should have posted a giant HAPPY BiRTHDAY to my most excellent mom.

A COUPLE OF THINGS ABOUT MY MOM (SORRY THEY'RE LATE)!
• my mom has NEVER colored her hair
• she could whoop Paula Dean in a cooking show down
• she has phenomenal nails (if she lets them grow out, they look incredible!)
• she is and always will be a southern "California Girl"
• she is an excellent party/event planner
• she is hilarious
• she makes a mean brown bag lunch
• she uses "the other day" as terminology for any day past yesterday
• she remembers something about an "E Ticket Ride"
• she can make due with nothing
• she is the only reason I passed grade school (science fairs, projects, posters, things to hold your valentines in, you name it, she mastered it)
• she is the best note writer ever (she always writes them for people, even for tiniest things)
• she is overwhelmingly supportive
• she could have done anything, but she chose to be my mom

I love you mom! Thanks a ba-jillion. I hope you had a great 47th!

HaPPY THaNKSGiViNG!

2007-11-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

Before I leave blogger world for the next several days, I wanted to wish everyone a joyous Thanksgiving. I have always really liked the holiday, as well as the subsequent Black Friday, so to the shoppers out there, good luck.

A Few Things I'm Thankful for But Often Forget or Do Not Mention
(in no particular order):

• CHI flatiron (you have not used a flatiron until you've used the CHI)

• Cheap girls ankle socks at Walmart (thin, snug, and just my size)

• Mary Kay cream foundation (*note* I would be more thankful for it if I didn't have to deal with the crazies who sell it)

• Mascara

• Fresca Peach Citrus flavor (why is this stuff not a fountain drink?)

• Jergens Ultra Healing Lotion (love it)

• The lethal combination of AirBorn, Zycam, and Tylenol Cold

• Tennis shoes...actually, no shoes

• Cleaning machines (dishwasher, vacuum, dryer, etc)

• The original owners of the Smokehouse (man, has it gone downhill!)

• Soap

• Strong toothpaste (like Listerine or any kind that makes your mouth almost sting with cleanliness)

• Free (though very mismatched) furniture

• Companies that actually answer the phone

• The sweet Texas niece who called me today, just to chat (adorable!)

• Blogs (my cousin and sister just got ones!)

• The Chicago Manual of Style (not a fashion book)

• The technically stolen, spare phone charger that I accidentally forgot to return with my phone

• Those times when every, single one of your knuckles pop (I know, I shouldn't do it)

• Times where I find a primo parking space without even looking

• Perfume and cologne

• Clearance clothes (or else I would be naked) and clothes from the lovable sis-in-law upstairs)

• Pretzels (so simple, so delicious)

More thankful things to come!
Until then, enjoy the holiday!

The Fly on the Wall

2007-11-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

(pic taken July 2006...Paul and I picking up our babies...the free washer and dryer my sister found for us abandoned at the apartment complex she managed)

I felt the need to post, though I have nothing of note to say, so I decided to paraphrase a few conversations Paul and I have had over the last two days. None of them are particularly insightful or funny, this is just your chance to be the "fly on the wall" at our house, as I know you've been dying to be:

This morning
Paul: I think I'm addicted to soda.
Kira: Why are you getting headaches?
Paul: No. Sometimes I just need one.
Kira: Oh my gosh, I totally know what you are talking about. Sometimes do you feel like you can't emotionally cope with life or reality until you've had your drink?
Paul: Wow. We both have a serious problem.

Within hours of that conversation, we had both gone to Maverik and gotten our drink on.

To preface this next conversation, I taught my first couple of lessons to a real life 9th grade English class this week. The teacher of the class had to grade me on several different aspects of my teaching.

Paul: So how did your lesson go?
Kira: Good, I think, but the teacher cut my time since the kids needed to finish a movie, so I felt a little rushed and didn't get everything done. The teacher gave me the highest possible score though, so I think I did alright.
Paul: Oh, she probably just did that because she felt bad about not giving you enough time.
Kira: Ya. My score had nothing to do with me actually doing a good job. She just felt bad about cutting my time.

Paul quickly apologized for blurting things that he doesn't realize he is saying.

Last night

Paul: I got to say, "That's what she said," today.
Kira: Oh ya. What happened?
Paul: We were playing ping-pong at work and we have all of these random balls and Quinn picked a couple up and said, "I'm sick of playing with different sized balls!" and I said, "That's what she said."

Really, I couldn't be more proud.

There's Something About Fall: Another Long Seasonal Recap Blog

2007-11-07T14:56:00.000-07:00

Autumn is creeping to an end and I finally downloaded my pics...so here's a recap.

1. I can't find my favorite shades.

~~Pee-wee~~ Kira: Exhibit "D"! Jimmy, what is this ... too late! Chip?

Chip: Uh... it looks like a pen.

~~Pee-wee~~ Kira: Exactly! I bought this pen exactly one hour before my shades were stolen. Why? What's the significance? I don't know!

Oh ... sorry ... recaping my life as a scene of Pee Wee's Big Adventure is not only unamusing and confusing, but creepy. My apologies.

2. We drove down to St. George and back in the same day to see Ben and Ruth get sealed in the St. George LDS Temple. It was a long, wet day. It rained the whole way there and back and the entire time we were there.

Things went well regardless of the weather and the now destroyed wedding gown. The only unforgivable sin: McDonald's gave me a ham and egg McMuffin instead of sausage one after they forgot my fruit and yogurt parfait.

3. Paul is working like a mad man on his studies. He has a tough semester with Psychology, Meteorology, Anatomy and this bizarre immigrant film and lit class.
oh, and yes, he voted.

I Voted

2007-11-06T15:37:00.001-07:00

that's all, but I didn't get the "I Voted Today" sticker, which was actually a really big disappointment. I am super excited because I think Paul is going to vote this time too (if he doesn't have to work all night)...he's really turning out to be a such a model citizen- his first election, what's next?

The Real Halloween

2007-11-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

Halloween was fun. We passed out treats at my sister Karli's house so she could take her kids trick or treating.
I don't know how the green theme worked out, but that's what happened.

Paul and I went "Rock-a-Billy" style, though I ended up looking more like Lucile Ball.

The whole thing was inspired by Paul's new tattoo sleeves, so I thought I'd throw in a shot to feature them.

At the end of the night, we discovered by nephew's (the TMNT above) secret inner rocker. He had some impressive moves with Paul's pint-sized electric. Here's his power stance.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2007-10-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

Today is it! I hope you enjoy it because you won't get it for another 365 days :(

Here is a pic of last night. Paul and I helped my parents with being the mad scientists in their haunted lab at their church Halloween party. My parents had the stage set up so so triple cute (in a spooky sort of way) so we just showed up after putting on our super duper ultra quick costumes.

Our goal was to just scare the begezzes out of the kids...stuff like this makes me wonder how anyone can prefer Christmas.

Thanks Laura for capturing the moment!

Unsolved Mysteries: The Scent of Urine

2007-10-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

This blog is about an unsolved mystery. The re-enactments and special effects are actual eyewitness accounts. What you are about to read is not a news broadcast.

Every Thursday, I spend three hours in a course that could put the most sever insomniac to sleep. The teacher is well beyond the age of doing anything outside yelling at children anywhere near his property.

Don't get me wrong, he is obviously a well seasoned individual, with thousands of charming "kids say the darndest things" stories of his life teaching the poor little vagrant dust bowl children. He could write a book of daily antidotes to sell at Hallmark. His classroom however, is another story.

Well, this teacher has all of his dates mixed up, so he scheduled is mid-semester Australian vacation a week late of fall break, so he gave us our mid-term exam as a take home (AKA: you can use whatever and WHOever you want to get this done). So about 15 of us met together to do the exam.

After a couple of questions, I kept getting whiffs of this rank smell. It was coming from the future band teacher next to me. He never looked really dirty, but looks are oft deceiving. It continues and becomes more potent. By question 15 of 50, I had to devise a plan.

Situations like this always make me crazy, I'm too worried about being rude. I can't say anything, I can move, I can start spraying him with Fabreze. So I didn't do anything.

On question 19, band boy leans over and says, "Sorry, if you start to smell urine, it's not me, it's my text book."

WHAT?

"You don't really notice it until I start flipping a bunch of pages and then it really lifts out the smell."

HUH?

He was right, it really was his book. I think I was too confused at the time as to why he hadn't sprayed down every page with anti-herpe-gona-syphllis spray to ask why the pages of his book smelled like urine.

The actual source of the urine, now lies among the world unsolved mysteries. Will we ever find out the actual urinator? We may never know.

For now, I'm just glad we weren't working under a black light.

Biting the Hand that Feeds: My Enviro Blog

2007-10-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'll take the challenge too (thanks for letting me know about it Jason) to write a blog about something environmental.

I am all about trying to create less garbage and use less stuff. Like, when I buy a box of stuff at the big box/wholesale stores, I don't need 8 boxes inside my box. And when I get my statement from the bank, I do not want a bunch of brochures about great hotel deals in California. And when I go to school, I don't need a flier about every activity that goes on at the campus.

Now, I am totally hypocritical saying all of this because I am in the marketing business and my paycheck comes from the people that want you to buy more stuff so they just sent you that mailer you threw away about the As Seen On TV Swiss Army Bra that if you buy in the next 15 minutes they'll send you the upgraded LED headlight version (a $9.95 value) for free.

Here are a three (of many) ideas I will to implement in my life:
• Use less plastic bags, switch to reusable products
• Request not having my groceries put in bags if I can carry them without, or bring my own bags
• Don't buy new if you don't need to, look for used, refurbished, etc

One group that I would like to recognize for their efforts in trying to make less garbage and use less stuff is THE COMPACT. You may have heard of them, there are branches all over (my link is to the SF, CA blog) of folks who make the goal to not buy new (with a few exceptions) for a year. Their blogs are really interesting. They are real people who are concerned about making a difference, and not about giving lip. They aren't out there to criticize how everybody else lives, they are just doing their best at changing their own lives, they're "starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways...And no message could have been any clearer: If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself..." Oh...drifting...sorry.

So You Want Tunes...

2007-10-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

If you want to add a little radio thing to your blog it is super easy (even though the instructions seem long, it's a total snap)...I use Project Playlist for no particular reason, there are others out there though.

So you go onto Project Playlist, sign up for an account and then do a search for the music you want. The sight will then work as a search engine to find the song you looked for. Sometimes the songs don't work or it isn't the full version, so it is best to check them out first. Then add it to your playlist. (I think you can add something like 75 songs and I don't know how many playlists you can have).

Once you have your playlist, go to the MY ACCOUNT setting and click on ADD TO MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK, then click on GET THE PLAYLIST CODE...., if there isn't a button for the site you want to post your cute new radio thing to, click on the last choice GET THE CODE FOR ANY OTHER SOCIAL NETWORK, BLOG...

It will ask you to fill out some options (do you want it to start automatically, color, etc), once your done, click GET CODE. The code will come up, select all and copy it. Sign into your blog (from here I only know how to do it on Blogger), go to the LAYOUT option, then to the PAGE ELEMENTS tab, click ADD AN ELEMENT, choose the HTML/JAVASCRIPT option and paste the code you got from Project Playlist in the box. Save it and you are on your way. If you go back and add songs to the playlist, it will update it on your blog automatically.

I would be crazy to hear the beloved tunes of my fellow bloggers, so good luck!

Don't Wet Your Pants!

2007-10-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am freaking crazy about Halloween...so...I added some of the spookiest Halloween tunes I know to the old blog. I decided to cut out all the classic Halloween pop songs we all know and love ("Monster Mash," "Thriller," "Time Warp" etc.) and go strait for the terrifying...Hitchcock, Tales from the Crypt and other horror classics.

Seriously, some of these songs freak me out (Paul tried to kill me with Tubular Bells one time, on a super dark, creepy road. He opened the car door up while he was driving, I know it doesn't sound bad, but the blood in my body literally stopped pumping. It was a borderline out of body experience.), but I couldn't resist bringing us all back to the Haunted Mansion (so beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts) and spice it up with a little Jimmy Fallon.

and "Hurry ba-ack. Hurry ba-ack. Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We've been dying to have you!"
(what's that from?)

IT'S OCTOBER!!!

2007-10-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

I really don't have anything important or entertaining to say, but just in case you haven't seen a calendar in 3 days...IT'S OCTOBER...which means Halloween is coming...which means it's costume time...which means I can hardly keep my mind on anything other than dressing up.

That's all. I'm just ecstatic!

Oh, and enjoy the new holiday themed blog colors.

One of My Favorite Halloween Moments

2007-10-03T10:47:00.001-07:00

For those who appreciate THE OFFICE.

Summer Recap 7: Concert Series

2007-09-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

LAST ONE!!!

We went to a couple of great concerts...but nobody who currently makes music...only some 80's-early 90's classics.

I already posted about Restless Heart who I went to with my sister Klarissa and ZZTop/Pretenders/Stray Cats all of which did awesome, except The Pretenders didn't sing "I'll Stand by You" which totally disappointed me.

You may have already seen the Poison pictures from Laura, but not from me, so without further adieu, POISON and their deadbeat 80's fans (actully, it is only their deadbeat 80's fans, no Poison pics here...sorry Bret Michaels fans...you'll just have to watch the season finale of Rock of Love, Sunday on VH1).

and one from the private collection

Summer Recap 6: Cali: Part B

2007-09-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...you're sick of it BUT...tons of pics...scroll quickly...it will be over soon (only one Summer Recap post remaining)

Going to California was as close to a cruise as someone can get on land...Jason and his family catered to our every whim...we had delicious meal, warm beds, a vehicle, and best of all, incredible company.

It was fun for me to get to know Paul's family a little better! We both has a delightful time...we'll give them a short break, but we want to go bombard them sometime again soon!

sometimes I just can't resist taking pictures of myself...sorry...you'd understand if you were this good looking

Paul also got to visit with some of his long lost SoCal buds...they seem just dazzling.

Everything was fantastic!

Summer Recap 5: We're Going Going Back Back to Cali Cali Part A

2007-09-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

We had a super blast in California in August...we had the best of hosts (and chauffeurs) and are so grateful for their generous hospitality (thanks Jason, Giancarlo, Amelia, and Diego) and letting us crash their house and plans for the week (pictures coming next post).

We also visited somewhere I don't think I'll ever get sick of, not even if I lived on Main Street...DISNEYLAND!

Get ready for everyone's favorite past time: Looking at other people's vacation pictures ;)
There a lot of pics...but few words...so scroll and enjoy!

Jungle Cruise

Haunted Mansion

You have to have one of these

and one of these

Just tearing it up on the dance floor...you know.

The Switch Master P

What do you mean you're sick of pictures of Paul and I trying hats on?

(we got wet...he's not sweaty)

Paully took me out to the one place I have never been to at Disney and have always dreamed of...The Blue Bayou (the restaurant in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride). Delicious!!!

We took the kid menu hats (again, hats, I know) as a souvenir.

Summer Recap 4: Little Outings

2007-09-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Paul and I went to Midway for a little overnighter. We had a blast (especially me because I got to go shopping!).

We went to a handful of Jazz playoff games...we had a incredible time at every one!

My sister sent us to the Lehi Round-Up Rodeo. I love the rodeo...so I was thrilled to go

Paul, on the other hand, was a rodeo virgin...he doesn't look really comfortable with the whole thing does he?

Summer Recap 3: Graduation

2007-09-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

I graduated too. You may have seen that on my mom's blog, but I figured I could post it too (five months later). Thanks to everyone who gave me so much support throughout school...you have no idea how much it meant, and seriously, I couldn't have done it without you!

Just in case it needs an explanation: Paul played artistic director on this shot.

and Paul wanted to play too...

Summer Recap 2: Easter

2007-09-13T15:05:00.000-07:00

Easter was fun. We had a $10 basket budget. We chose our own stuff. Paul wanted pickles and beef jerky. I wanted eye shadow and peach Fresca (delicious and diet!).

What's easter without Robin's eggs (I won't eat them, but I can't go a year without getting it all over my face).

and yes, I know, I look like some freaky foul species.

Around this same time, Paul hit his 23 year mark.

and I finally made a meal Paul gave the coveted A-grade to: Roasted garlic BBQ chicken pizza with cheddar and brie (yes, cheddar and brie).

Summer Recap 1: Spring Bonnets

2007-09-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

I love that the blogs I look at are always so current. Everything is like "Here is a picture of 7 minutes ago." Mine are all after thoughts, well, actually, I just don't download my pictures.

Over the next couple posts, I'm going recap things we have done over the last five or so (yikes!) months. I may have mentioned these in previous posts or conversations, but here is the hardcopy proof with pictures.

To start off, lets talk about hats. When Katrine was in town, she got a taste of our (my) hats, but not a full-on fashion show. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the highlights of the Paul and Kira early april hat show.

Starting with our helmets

Paul exchanged his. Now it doesn't look like his face is squishing out of it.

Skipper and the Cop

Anyone up for a swim?

You can't see the flowers on Paul's cap...they really top everything off nicely.

any remarks about me looking stoned are totally justified.

There's gotta be a bandana (and in my case, a headwrap) pic in honor of one of our favorite white trash TV show: Rock of Love with Bret Michaels of Poison.

actually, we took this way before Rock of Love, I just wanted to make mention of it, even though I am totally ticked Lacey is still on because she is a crazy devil.

Someday these hats will go to use somewhere they really belong, at the Kentucky derby...until then, I'll just keep wearing them to church.

9 Interesting Things About Me

2007-09-05T15:40:00.001-07:00

Um Ok, so this is a tag from Jason's woman, JLo. Apparently, I am supposed to just tell interesting things about me...no contingencies (which makes it harder for me...I like the ones that are half done for you, like..."I just went to______"). Well, here are the 9 (I know it should be 8: see #6) things that come to me fastest...not the most interesting (sorry).

1. I actually, really, sorta, actually totally love infomercials. They are hilarious: so rehearsed, so corny, so blatant. They are the worst advertising ever, but like a train wreck you can't turn away. Currently, I want to try the Bare Minerals makeup line...since I just got a real life testimonial that they are incredible and even though Paul was totally making fun of the AeroGarden...I kinda want one, a beautiful garden...right in the kitchen...think of the fresh vegetables and herbs!

2. I feel really guilty if Paul doesn't get a well-rounded, home-cooked meal for dinner. If we have some sort of boxed or frozen convenience food, I feel horrible. I'm sure it is because my mom always had great homemade meals for me, so I think that I am letting him down if he has a meal that I didn't have to do anything to make.

3. I despise anything that makes stupid comments about people. Like the shirts that say crap about being blonde or brunette or about someone being sleezy or references to you whatever. I don't even have to give examples...I know you have seen them and know what I am talking about. I guess I don't feel like I have to advertise anything. I don't need brand names or comments posted anywhere on or around me. I got to thinking about this today when I saw the "Caution: Blonde Thinking" bumper sticker. What the heck?!!! Where did that stereotype even come from? (sorry…these were probably supposed to be short answers huh?)

4. I love Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and hot dogs. Mmmm … delicious.

5. I am the reason they tape spoons on pens.

6. I live in odd numbers. I set alarms to odd numbers and the volume is always at an odd number. Evens make me cringe. (I wrote this on 6, to counter the even number).

7. I just signed up with GabCast today. I have one posted on another of my blogs...maybe ya'll will get one soon too...

8. When I was a sophomore in high school, I wet the bed. I seriously had a dream that I was in the bathroom...it was so vivid.

9. Every time I go to Costco I have to talk myself out of those delicious, only $1.50 hand-dipped in smooth chocolate and rolled in rich toasted almonds, using only the best (those-Vermont-boys-don't-stand-a-chance against) ice cream in the world, Haagen-Daz ice cream bars.

Sisters!

2007-08-20T16:10:00.001-07:00

Since I did a post on my brothers, I felt like I should even it out with a post about my three great sisters. Here goes...

Karli is my older sister with whom I shared a room for so many years, I can't even tell you just how many. Sharing a room with someone gives you a chance to learn about them where others don't have a chance...I'm glad I got to get to know her so well while we were living together. Karli is a very smart cookie who really connects with people, everybody always likes her. Karli is one of the best public speakers ever. Karli now has three kids, who all have her good looks (I remember all through school I got comments like, "Oh, you're Karli's sister. She is so pretty!" Try having the Student Government, dancer, elite Chamber Choir, Homecoming royalty sister, it's no pic-nic) This is no longer a sore spot for me, just in case I still sound jealous). Karli is definitely the entrepreneur (sp?) in the family, she always has new ventures and ideas that she tries. It is always a treat for me to see what is new in Karli's life and how she is developing into an incredble woman.

Konnie is my younger sister. I have so many memories of her as a baby. Karli and I would sing Konnie this song we made up, "Konnie Bonnie, we love you so mu-uch!" over and over (she sort of despises the song now, even though she is the only one in the family with an original song written just for her). Konnie is choc-full of confidence which really makes her stand out. I don't recall a day in her life where she ever cared what others thought of her, I have really come to respect that over the years. Both Konnie and I are pretty accident prone (she just about killed her whole face after running into a parked car) but that doesn't ever stop her from trying new things and being adventurous, which I love about her. Konnie is currently working her way up in the banking world and has a sassy little car that she loves and looks quite cute in.

Klarissa is a freaking hoot. She has this sense of humor that just gets me and she is always willing to play along with a joke. She just turned 14, which blows my mind! I used to feed her bottles and change her diaper. I like to pretend like I am Klarissa's second mother because I spent so much time with her when she was a baby, but I definitely can't take any credit for just how rocking she is. Klarissa is fun-loving and really gets along well with people. She has a sweet sense of style, she likes fun peices that really set her apart from the crowd and show her personality and creativity (and on the note of creativity, she makes incredible cards!) I'm pretty sure Klarissa is the undisputed hottest girl in the family (I have several things I'm jealous of about her, though I won't mention them to save her the embarassment).

These are some of the most important and special ladies in my life and I am so glad, for whatever reason, I was stuck in a family with them. These are my sisters and I'm sticking to it!

Kira looks like...

2007-08-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

I saw a post that said to Google (in quotes) "[your name] looks like" so I gave it a try...the results are below.

But first...here is a pic of Paully and me this past week at the ZZ Top concert. They were great and it was tons of fun.

Here are the results for "Kira looks like" in the order they were found:

Kira looks like a big dog, in a short body:-) she is overweight by a few pounds..Kira is so loving, gentle, and sweet to people

Kira looks like she has a hangover. She was doing so well too.

Kira looks like the abortion of a chimpanzee. And that's the truth, cuz Jade said so. [Ok that freaked me out]

kira looks like my ex-girlfriend

Kira looks like a rubber ducky!

Kira looks like a fox =). Hehe, she's like red and fuzzy and clever-looking.

Kira looks like she really wants to be out there sniffing that squirrel to bits.

I wonder what Major Kira looks like in that bikini from return of the jedi (*ahem*) Quite simply watching too much star trek forces you to mentally vomit ...

Kira looks like a moose compared to him.

How nice, xD they're getting along, though Kira looks like she wants to Gnaw on Gin's shoulder

Kira looks like she is on the point of doing something rather nasty

kira looks like someone put a bag over her head and smashed her in the face with a monkey wrench.

Kira looks like she could be Johnny's daughter. [mom...who's Johnny?]

KIRA looks like she'd like to break something

KIRA Looks like the Klingons are here to stay.

A couple of my friends think Kira looks like a Luxon Princess in her simple Luxon armor.

So what, Kira looks like a Man from the back?

Kira looks like an idiot.

Kira Looks like a Cajun cooking show.

Kira, Looks like you and I are on the Night Shift. Mooooaaaaa!

Kira looks like a little too young for here.

I Got Tagged

2007-08-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

by Katrine

I’m happiest when … I have eaten a well-balanced meal (other things make me happy too, but only if I have eaten first).

Someday I’m going to … buy a house.

When I’m really down, what I want to do is … talk to someone who understands, but doesn't make me more depressed.

I feel anxious … when I am actually all ready to go and have time to spare...waiting makes me anxious.

I like people who … love to play dress up.

All it takes to make me happy is … is a good meal and maybe a deliciously over-sized diet fountain drink.

What I really want to do is … go shopping with my mom [Momma, it's been to long! I want to take a day off and shop with you!] and go to lunch with Paully.

I wish that … I could just make decisions and not take so long to figure things out!

I don’t like people who … are selfish.

A person really should ... be grateful and unselfish.

I just hate it that … houses are so expensive.

I have everything I need, however … I would like a house (sounding repetative?)

If I could do whatever I wanted ... I would live in the south of France every summer with everyone I love, oh, and I'd get tattoo sleeves (well maybe ... I'd have to recover from my "I wish that ..." issue first or else I'd never decide what I wanted).

My Marriage Age is 32

2007-08-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

I found this quiz...apparently I jumped the gun ... I'm starting to worry now that things aren't going to work out for Paul and I since I shouldn't be married for another 9 years.

At what age will you be (or should you have been) married by?

Put a x in every box that applies to you

[] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[] You own more than one credit card
[] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[x]You vote in every election
[x]You can cook for yourself
[x] You think politics are exciting

TOTAL SO FAR:5

[] You show up for school/college/work every day early
[x] You always carry a pen in your bag/purse/pocket
[x] You’ve never gotten a detention
[] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[X] You've watched talk shows
[x] You know what ‘credibility’ means without looking it up
[] You drink coffee at least once a week

TOTAL THIS SECTION:5
TOTAL SO FAR:10

[x] You know how to do The dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x]Your parents trust you
[x] You can mow the lawn
[x] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[x] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You pay attention at school/college/work.
[x]You remember to feed your pets

TOTAL THIS SECTION:10
TOTAL SO FAR:20

[x] You can spell ‘experience’ without looking it up
[] You work out on a regular basis
[] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[]The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[x]You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type quickly

TOTAL THIS SECTION:4
TOTAL SO FAR: 24

[x] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[x] You have been to a Tupperware party
[x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[x] You can say no to staying out all night
[x] You use the internet every day
[x] Your wardrobe hasn’t changed in a while
[x] You can read a book and actually finish it

TOTAL THIS SECTION:8
TOTAL ADDED UP: 32

The total is the age you will marry

New Skills

2007-08-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

My mom tried to teach me how to cut hair yesterday. Apparently I'm too slow. I assume though, that someone would rather have me do it slow and well, than quickly and sloppy.

(my mom sent me this pic this morning...me with the clippers to my dad's head)

Oh ya...and my sister had her baby! (I forgot my camera when I went to see her, but my mom has a pic up.) He is beautiful baby boy, Desmond Parker Burdge. I was so excited that she had him early, so I could be in town during all the commotion.
Congrats Karli, Romney, Karston and Kiana on the new arrival!